Breaking Your Own Heart
by Lavenderangel
Summary: "The life you save may be your own." -Flannery O'Connor. AU. After 4 years in the system, Callie thought she had a pretty good handle on taking care of her brother and herself. when things start spinning out of her control, the only person she feels she can turn to is a pretty blond cop she met by happenstance.
1. Chapter 1

Breaking Your Own Heart

Author's notes: Well, hello there. I set out for this to be a short series, exploring what might have happened if Callie had crossed paths with the Foster's (specifically Stef) a couple of years earlier. That was about 40000 words ago, and I'm still not quite done. I was going to hold off posting until I had revised the entire thing, but I got impatient. As a warning, this fic is set when Callie and Jude are still living with the Olmsted's, so will feature a fair amount of Liam. I hope that doesn't turn readers off too much. i'm also looking for a beta, just to look over grammar and maybe discuss characterization. I'd be glad to return the favor.

XXX

She couldn't get away from the screaming.

The echo of it seem to physically follow her out into the hallway, coiling around her throat like a too tight scarf. Ducking around a corner, Callie drank gratefully from a water fountain. It did nothing for the antiseptic smell burning at the back of her throat, but at least she finally had a moment to herself to catch her breath.

Would anyone notice if she called to check on Jude? A nurse had yelled at someone for even taking out their cell phone in the waiting area, which made no sense. How else were people supposed to find out that you were in the hospital, if you weren't allowed to tell them? Logically, she knew Liam would have made sure Jude was not only safe, but far, far away from the house long before the police had come. Jude wouldn't have liked leaving her, but Liam would have insisted. Hell, their mutual dislike for authority figures might be the only thing they would ever have in common.

Even so, she couldn't help herself. Waiting for a nurse to pass back into the emergency room, she Perched on the edge of a bench and was halfway through a rapid fire text when a hand fell on her shoulder. Reflexes were the only thing that kept her phone from sailing across the hall, and she was on her feet instantly, her free arm coming up in defense, even as it throbbed in protest.

"Hey, woah, easy." It was one of the cops from earlier in the evening, the pretty blond woman who had kept calling Janet 'sweetheart' in an attempt to calm her down.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to check on my little brother. Please, don't take my phone." God, why had she said please? Why was her voice coming out so wispy, like she had been the one screaming?

"No, I'm not going to take your phone." The cop was now using the 'sweetheart' voice on her, but she at least had the sense to keep her hands to herself. "I just wanted to see how you were doing before we leave. I think your parents are going to be busy for a while, and I saw you out here by yourself."

"**Foster **parents, they're our **foster parents**. But is Janet… um. Is she better?" The cop's expression shifted from awkward to exhausted, and Callie was surprised to glance down at her phone to see that it was only 9:30. They'd been finishing dinner two hours ago, everything a totally normal Tuesday evening.

"Is Janet your sister?"

She shook her head. "No, but she's been living with the Olmsted's longer than Jude and me." They weren't close, not like her and Jude, and certainly not like her and Liam.. Still, Janet had been there from the start.

"Well, I think she'll be staying here for a few days." The cop said this fast, getting it all out in the open in one sentence, which Callie appreciated. Cops who wouldn't stop beating around the bush drove her crazy.

Speaking of things making people crazy: that was that. The Olmsted's had said one more trip to the psych ward would be the end for Janet. Callie couldn't honestly say she was surprised, or even disappointed. "I hope this time actually helps." This seemed like the right thing to want. When she wasn't pissed and in pain, she would want that for Janet.

Now the cop looked even more uncomfortable, and Callie wondered if she was new. Cops usually gave her the _no bullshit_ stare, not this _oh god, I'm so, so sorry for your life_ look.

"Hey, why don't my partner and I give you a ride home? I'm sure your pa - foster parents wouldn't want you stuck here on a school night."

On the other hand, she could really grow to like the perks of a pity stare. "Yeah? That would be great."

So that was how she found herself in the backseat of a police car ten minutes later. Blond cop, who's name was Stef, kept glancing back at her, like she expected Callie to lose her shit at any moment. Which could very well happen, if Liam didn't start answering his freaking texts. Jude should have been in bed fifteen minutes ago, and she had no idea if they were even home.

"Are you going to be all right by yourself?" Stef asked, as they were finally getting close to the Olmsted's.

"My brothers should be home by now." It always felt weird to call Liam that, but it needed to be said to get this chick off her back. "Liam's over eighteen," she added. saying that always made her feel extra important. The fact Liam was an actual adult and still liked hanging out with her would **never **not make her feel important.

"Should we come in and talk to him about what's going on?" Callie caught the look the two cops exchanged in the rearview mirror, and inwardly cheered. Stef's partner did not look happy at this offer.

"No, it's okay. Jude - my little brother's kind of scared of cops, so I don't think that would be a good idea." Truth be told, she was no fan of the police herself, but they had nothing on her hatred for hospitals.

"Are you sure? We really don't mind, **do we**, hernandez?" That last sentence was more command than question, and Callie felt her lips involuntarily curving toward a smile. Annoyed Stef was kind of cool, just not cool enough to risk scaring Jude.

"We'll be fine. This has happened before, I know how to handle it." Stef looked far from appeased, but she also wasn't the one driving. Callie turned her smile on Hernandez. "Thanks a lot for the ride, it was a big help."

"No problem, kiddo." Now that he was relieved of babysitting, Hernandez suddenly seemed a lot more agreeable.

"Kiddo?" she couldn't help muttering, feeling her cheeks warm as she caught Stef's responding raised eyebrow. To Callie's relief, Stef just looked amused.

Hernandez turned into the Olmsted's driveway, and she was halfway out of the car before Stef's voice stopped her. "Hold up, Callie. If you guys do need anything, here's my card. That has my cell number, so you can call me anytime, all right?"

"I - Thank you." this gratitude was far less automatic, and Callie hoped Stef could tell by her smile. No one had ever given her their personal cell number before, not even their social worker.

"Take care of yourself." Stef put out a hand, like maybe she was going to pat her arm, but seemed to change her mind at the last second. Good choice. Callie nodded at Stef, tossing out some sort of goodbye before slamming the car door and sprinting up the front walk.

"Callie!" Jude was on her before she was fully inside, barefoot and in too small Ninja Turtles pajamas. "What happened? Why were you with the police?" Did they take you away, like Janet?" His thin arms twined around her neck, and until that second, she didn't know how truly tense she had been.

"Calm down, monkey boy." She clasped him to her with her good arm, so, so grateful he wasn't too old for this just yet. He smelled like shampoo and toothpaste, such a warm, sweet contrast from the impersonal cold of the hospital that was still lingering in her throat. She had to swallow several times before she felt able to speak again. . "Everything's all right now." She pried him lose just long enough to close and lock the front door.

When she turned back around, she saw Liam watching them from the landing. Jude began a string of anxious babble about blizzards and snickers against her shoulder, but she couldn't look away from Liam. He was standing there in nothing but a towel, staring down at her like **she **was the blizzard,, and any angry retort about ignoring her texts instantly evaporated..

"Long night?" he called over the railing, making Jude jump.

Her hand stroked his hair automatically. "Nothing I couldn't handle." Truthfully, she was exhausted, and dreading the fact she had a pile of homework waiting for her upstairs, but Liam made her feel invincible. "C'mon, monkey. Bedtime."

Jude still wouldn't let go of her. "Do we have time for a chapter?"

"Not tonight, it's really late. But tomorrow we can start early and do two, all right?" The routine of reading would have undoubtedly been relaxing to both of them, but Jude had trouble getting up in the mornings when he went to bed on time.

"Kay. What about your ice cream? Lee got your favorite."

"I'll have it for after school. It'll be like a reward for going." She guided him up the stairs and into his room. He could put himself to bed, but Callie liked having this time with him, particularly on nights like this, when everything around them was thrown into chaos. She didn't offer to stay once he was tucked in, and he didn't ask her to. That was good, maybe he wasn't as upset by her mode of transportation as she'd feared.

"Callie?" he called, and she hesitated in the doorway. "Does this mean we're not gonna see Janet anymore?"

"I'm not sure, Jude. She needs a lot of help, and this might not be the best place for her to get it."

"She won't get to hear anymore of Fudge."

"I don't really think she liked them that much."

"She still should have gotten to hear the end."

There wasn't anything to say to that, so she just blew him a kiss and closed the door. Janet was closer to her age than Jude's, and the Fudge book series were for younger readers than them both. But Callie's mother had read them to her, and she'd finally gotten enough saved to buy her own copies late last year. If Jude thought they were too babyish, he never said so. Janet would scoff, but she had almost always skulked into Jude's room during their nightly chapter.

That last glimpse of Janet remained on her mind all through her math and history homework, which meant she got more answers wrong than usual. It was hard to solve for X when screams were replaying themselves in your head, morphing from rage to terrified once Janet had registered the restraints.

It was long after 11 when she finally finished the last equation, and she was too exhausted to even contemplate reading for English. She set her alarm for half an hour early, hoping that would be enough time to get it done. Her door creaked as she was getting into bed, and her heart surged into her throat. She'd given up hope of seeing him half an hour ago, the only reason she'd started the math to begin with.

"Hey." He peered around the door. "STill awake in here?"

"Hey yourself." That was all the answer Liam seemed to need before He was kissing her, full and long, and she was incredibly thankful she'd found the energy to brush her teeth.

"Missed you," she mumbled when he finally came up for air, feeling her face stretch with her smile.

He laughed, easing down under the covers beside her. "Sap."

"Shut up, tonight was kinda bad."

"Yeah, we left when the screaming started. Jude was mad, but he got over it by the time we were at DQ. You owe me fifteen bucks, by the way."

"For two blizzards?"

"Hey, you said you'd pay for mine. That's why I agreed to take you and rugrat in the first place, remember?"

"You're such a jerk. I end up at the hospital, and you're making me pay for ice cream?"

"Wait, so, back up. She's in the loony bin again? What drove her over the edge this time?" Both their gazes went to Janet's side of the room. Her bed was still unmade from that morning, a pile of clean laundry precariously close to collapse. Somewhere under the clutter was Janet's stuffed rabbit, and Callie wished she could find a way of getting it to her.

Sighing, she forced herself to focus back on Liam. "I don't even know, she was pissed about not getting to go for ice cream. I told her I'd bring her some, and she just lost it. Broke that ugly lamp in the living room. Actually, I think she was trying to hit me in the head with it, but I ducked. One of the neighbors must have called the cops, cause they were just suddenly here. Think they would've broken down the door if your dad hadn't answered."

She didn't mention that the only reason she had ridden along to the hospital in the first place was because they were worried Janet might have broken her wrist in the struggle. A doctor had given it a cursory glance, and it must have been fine, because Callie had never seen him again, and no one had mentioned it when she had asked to leave. It was just lucky that Stef hadn't known, or Callie might still be there.

Liam stroked a hand over her back. "God, what a head case."

"It's not her fault." She unsuccessfully tried to move away to look at him fully, but her bed refused to accommodate her.""It's no one's fault when they're sick."

"Whatever, Florence Nightingale. At least her craziness is great for us." Just like that, he was content to start kissing her again. she tried to fall back into it, but it felt wrong to be having fun when Janet was scared and more than likely alone. Liam's hand edged up under her shirt, moving quickly to her stupidly still small breasts. She wished he would slow down, but he had a long day too. It would be bitchy of her to tell him to stop, even though he knew perfectly well she wasn't ready for this kind of thing.

"I gotta sleep,' she finally mumbled into his skin as the garage door was opening, announcing the return of his parents. "I need to get up early and finish my homework."

"God, you had all night to do that." Could he really have forgotten where she'd been so quickly? He blew humid, peanut butter tinged breath into her face.

She forced out an apology. it was always better to keep grievances like these to herself. She would be over this in the morning, but Liam could hold onto a perceived slight for days.

He sat up, her quilt pooling in a heap on the floor. Middle schoolers." Too late. She hated when he called her that, and Liam knew it. It wasn't even true anymore, she was over a semester through ninth grade. Regardless, he stormed out of the room before she could think of a reply, not bothering to say good night.

Finally alone, the pain in her wrist morphed from a dull throb to sharp stabs. It was oddly quiet without Janet's breathing in the bed across from hers, and it took her a long, long time to fall asleep. She found herself almost wishing Liam had never come.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes: Why yes, this chapter was posted so quickly purely in hopes of getting more reviews.

XXX

It was hard to tell whether the music was turned up too loud, or if her headache was simply making all sounds painful. Sliding two completed drinks across the bar, she raised her voice to be heard over the din. "Large Salted caramel latte, two extra shots, extra whip. Medium half caff Americana, skim milk, no sugar!"

"Next time, try to keep the customers from waiting five minutes." Not giving her coworker the satisfaction of outwardly wincing, Callie started on the next order. Taylor was perpetually pissed because a fourteen year old had seniority over her, but even without her attitude, Callie constantly felt like she was proving herself at work. It didn't help that she'd woken up ten minutes before she was supposed to leave this morning, and had been trying to catch her breath ever since.

Bitchy girls and morning rushes aside, Callie really did enjoy her job. Liam had convinced her to start applying soon after her fourteenth birthday, coaching her through potential interview questions and awkward essay applications. She had argued, convinced no one would even look at her once they knew her age. Liam countered that employers just wanted someone who would do the work. Callie definitely fell into that category.

Ten months later, here she was at The Java Hut, having recently received her first promotion from cashier to barista. Liam had been working at a nearby body shop when she'd first been hired seven months ago, but he was let go soon after. For as good as Liam was at getting jobs, he was awful at holding them down. Some days, when she came home with a preview of one of their specialty drinks for him to try, he looked at her like this was her fault. She wanted to remind him that he had been the one to encourage her to apply, but it was easier to keep silent and just stop bringing things home.

Slowly, the crowd thinned until it was just Callie, Taylor, and the too loud music. Letting her work stance drop, she gratefully began blending herself a coconut mocha, one of those specialty drinks that was on the menu for a limited time, but that they always had ingredients for lying around. She didn't like getting into the habit of spending money on drinks for herself, but shifts that started at 6AM would always be the exception to that rule. Was it normal to be exhausted at 9AM on a Saturday? She honestly wasn't sure.

"Want a drink?" She slid $5 in to the cash register as she talked, and Taylor didn't bother looking up from her phone. "I'll take that as a no." Callie slid her english book from her backpack. She was two chapters behind on To Kill a Mockingbird, but if she sped-read, she might be able to finish before the end of her shift. Taking an eager sip of her breakfast, she finally started to relax. The shop was blissfully quiet for the next ten minutes, allowing just enough time for her to become fully engrossed in the novel.

Which was why it took her several seconds to realize they were no longer alone. Thankfully, Taylor proved why she was worth having around, snapping to attention to greet the customer while Callie guiltily stowed her book. Fortunately, the caffeine had kicked in, and she was on her game this time. It helped that the shop was quiet enough for her to actually ear what the woman was ordering. By the time Taylor turned to her with the completed order, she was halfway through the first requested latte.

"Did you want hole milk with both of these?" The question was meant for Taylor, but the customer answered instead.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking that?" Annoyed, Callie turned to see the woman eyeballing her abandoned mocha. She was about to attempt her best 'the customer is always right' response, when she did a double take.

"Stef?" It was the cop from the other week, the one who's business card she still hadn't thrown away.

"Right in one, 'CJ.'" Stef's eyes flicked to her name tag, and Callie busied herself with the espresso machine in an effort not to blush.

CJ was her work name. Everyone assumed the J was for Jacob, but it was actually Joanne, her mother's name. Neither Callie or Jude had middle names, but in a nostalgic moment, she had filled out several applications with the name Callie Joanne. She had no idea what her mother would think of her getting a job so young, but eventually, Callie hoped she would be proud. So, when her boss had assumed she went by CJ, she had gone with it. Up until now, it had been a sort of secret. Having Stef say it made her stomach flip and her hand fumble with the steamed milk. NOt that there was any reason to react this way. Stef wasn't anyone who's opinion should matter to her.

Except, Stef was asking why she was drinking coffee, as though they meant something to one another. Like, well, like a mom might ask her daughter. Normally, such familiarity would have felt unwelcome and uncomfortably out of place, but it had been so long since someone had nagged her about anything, that for a long moment, Callie found herself relishing it.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in here before," she managed to say, relieved when her voice came out neutral. not that she would have exactly known to look.

A shrug. "Yeah, I usually bring coffee from home, but desperate times."

"I know the feeling." Their gazes locked on her mocha at the same second. "Um, so. Hole milk?"

XXX

She dropped face first onto her bed several hours later, not having the strength to wash the coffee smell out of her hair. Her tips crinkled in her jeans pocket, and she smiled, thinking back to the surprise on discovering the five dollar bill. It had to have been from Stef, and even though the total was split with Taylor, Callie couldn't help secretly hoping it had been mostly for her. She should try making conversation with the customers more often.

"Where have you been?" Sounding put upon, Jude wandered in, wedging himself down beside her hip.

"You know I had work." Grudgingly, she rolled to her side, giving him slightly more room.

"Felt like you were gone forever."

"Well, I'm back now. What's up?" If he was bored, he would usually come out and say so. Her paychecks went directly into savings, but her tips were fair game, and she probably had enough from the last couple of weeks to take him to the movies. Maybe Liam would come, if he had money for his own ticket.

"I need to tell you something." She propped herself on an elbow at his tone, looking at him properly. They had been with the Olmsted's for nearly thirteen months, but when he used that voice, the instinct to check him for injuries was immediate.

Naturally, he looked fine, and she clasped her hands to keep from running them over his arms and legs all the same. "What is it? You could have called me if something was wrong."

"No, it's… I failed my math test." He said the last bit in a rush, heat staining his cheeks.

She sat up to put an arm around him. "Aww, buddy. I'm sorry."

"Can you sign it?" He got up, retrieving his backpack from her closet. Another thing that made her heart drop; he hadn't felt the need to hide things in months.

"You know I can't. It needs to be done-"

"By a guardian, which is basically you."

"Jude, you know I'm not."

Tears welled in his eyes, and he threw the bag across the room. "You should be!" He walked out long before she was even close to coming up with a reply.

When he was gone, she retrieved his backpack from the floor. Along with the slightly crumpled math test and his reader, there was a box of granola bars, and four apples. The Olmsted's never bought granola bars, and apprehension began to gnaw at her. If Jude was stealing again, things were worse than she'd previously thought.

XXX

_From: CJacob97_

_To: Sfoster_

_Subject: Question_

_Hi Stef,_

_I hope it's not too weird that I'm emailing you. I was just wondering if you knew anything about becoming emancipated? If I was able to do it, do you think I'd get permission to have custody of my little brother? I've had a job for over a year and just got promoted. That has to count for something, right?_

_I'll owe you free lattes for life if you have any answers. And even if you don't, I'll give you a couple just for reading this._

_~Callie (CJ)_

_PS: thanks again for giving me your card._

Author's notes: I have never been entirely happy with this chapter. I see a lot of Stef's parenting as instinctive, such as her calling Jude sweets after knowing him for less than 12 hours in the second episode, and to a lesser extent in the flashback with her meeting the twins. This fic will hinge on a lot of that, as you can see from the coffee shop scene. Since we're in Callie's head, it's harder to convey Stef's actions. If there's ever something you feel unclear about or would like to argue, feel free.

I won't always post updates this close together, but I hoped I might get more feedback if you understood a little more about where I was going.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's notes: Mid-week update for you. Thanks for all the reviews, validation is like music to my ears! Special thanks to those that have PMed me about the fic, pointing out my unavoidable typos.

Callie couldn't check for a reply to her question until lunch on Monday, when she should have been getting a head start on that night's homework. Everyone had email on their phones these days, but her plan was expensive enough as it was. She was able to text and make calls, and that was plenty..

Most of the time, anyway. She had made her first email account when applying for jobs, having the sense to use her name and not something dorky, like 'Blumefanatic.' Before Saturday, her inbox informed her she hadn't signed in in over a month. She now had the impossible urge to refresh every hour.

The Olmsteds had a "family" laptop, which unofficially lived in Liam's room. Callie had begged him for nearly an hour to borrow it for just fifteen minutes on Saturday, sneaking into his room later that night to make it up to him. If Stef didn't reply to her message, she was blaming Liam and his stupid, wandering hands. Why wasn't the kissing fun for him anymore? He kept telling her to relax and enjoy herself, but it kept getting harder to do.

Of course, she could never really stay mad with him for long. When she'd opened her lunch bag, a kit cat had been sitting on top of her sandwich. She'd texted him a quick 'you're the best!' right there in the lunch room, not caring who saw her smiling. His responding "what was that for?" only made her grin harder.

Sitting here in the back corner of the library, she surreptitiously unwrapped the candy bar for luck, typing in her log information with a free pointer finger. To her relief, Stef's message was the third one down, between spam from Barnes and Noble and a coupon from bath and bodyworks. Callie had half convinced herself she wouldn't get a reply at all, yet now that it was right here, she was suddenly terrified to read it.

Finishing the first half of the candy bar, she forced herself to double click the message. Had the PS about the business card been too much? She hadn't wanted Stef to think she was some kind of google stalker.

_Good to hear from you, Callie_! Well, that was promising. _Was a nice surprise to see you earlier today, and I'm glad you've held onto my card. Unfortunately, I really don't know anything about emancipation, beyond the fact I highly doubt someone your age would be granted it, not to mention custody of a younger child. You said something about an older brother when we drove you home. Since he's a legal adult, he could petition to have guardianship over the both of you. That is probably the best path for you to pursue, if you're seriously considering this as an option._

_I'm sorry I can't offer you better news, although if you truly want to look into this process, I would be more than happy to put you in touch with someone over at the District Attorney's office. In the meantime, I'll keep buying my own lattes. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any further questions._

_Stef_

The last bite of kit cat stuck in her throat, and she had to swallow several times to get rid of it. Rereading the message only made her feel worse, and she closed the window with a sharp stab to the mouse. It was probably rude not to reply with at least a thank you, but she was wishing she hadn't asked anything to begin with.

She knew better than to get excited over ideas, but this one had just seemed so perfect. She really could be Jude's guardian. And if they weren't living together, her and Liam wouldn't have to sneak around all the time. If they weren't sneaking around, maybe he'd be less impatient, and she wouldn't be such an uptight baby about making out. God, why had she told Stef Liam was her brother? Why did Stef have to remember that stupid detail in the first place?

She had a test on To Kill a Mockingbird next period, and if she were smart she would at least google cliffs notes. Instead, she sat, staring at the blank computer screen until the bell rang.

She ran home to check on Jude before her afternoon shift. It would be easier to go to the java hut straight from school, but that wasn't going to be an option anymore. Fortunately, the high school was in walking distance from the Olmsteds, and she made it home just in time to see him coming up from the bus stop. She had debated meeting him there, but hadn't wanted to embarrass him in front of any of his friends.

Not that it appeared to have mattered. He was walking alone, head down. His whole face lit up when he saw her, and that expression alone was worth being a few minutes late. "Hey, monkey."

"Hi! Why aren't you at work?"

"I'm about to go, but I wanted to see you for a minute." He let her hug him, right there on the front steps. Mrs. Matthews, an older woman who lived across the street and who had a thing for peonies, smiled at them. Jude waved back.

"Do you have time for a snack? I asked Hannah to buy apples." He was asking for things instead of finding ways to get them himself. That was a good sign, right?

"I don't think so." She reached for her phone, no easy task since Jude was still leaning on her. "I really need to go right now."

"Already?" He stepped away, suddenly surly. Had she made his mood worse by surprising him?

"I'll be home by seven. Make sure they hold dinner for me?" This was a futile thing to ask. Phil and Hannah always ate directly at seven, whether everyone was home or not. If Callie was lucky ,a plate would be saved for her, but more often than not she had to scrounge for food when she got home. Still, she knew Jude liked working in absolutes. If he knew she would only be gone a little over four hours, maybe that would help.

He didn't bother answering, opening his backpack and digging around for his key. She took the opportunity to peer over his shoulder, relieved when she didn't immediately see anything that wasn't supposed to be there.

"I'll see you later. Try not to watch too much TV." She reached to hug him, but he walked into the house, closing the door on her smile and not giving her a backward glance. Sighing, she jogged down the stairs and down the block. Her shift started in six minutes, and it was going to take her at least ten to get there, if she ran the entire way. Apparently, she was out to disappoint everyone today, herself included.

She was home by 7:20. Her feet hurt, she was starving, and she had approximately $3.40 in tips. It had not been a good shift.

"Well, look who's here." Phil Olmsted raised his hand to her as she came in from the garage. Everyone was sitting around the table, appearing to be almost finished with dinner. She couldn't meet Jude's eyes from this angle, but she had a snicker doodle in her bag, and she wasn't above bribing his forgiveness.

"Hi. Sorry I'm late, it got crowded around 6:30." She wasn't technically expected for dinner, but with everyone silently staring, an apology felt important.

"Not a problem." Phil didn't seem put out in the least, waving Liam's hand away from a chicken breast. "Lee, save some for the rest of us." He turned back to her, gesturing at the empty chair. "Come sit. Eat."

She was halfway through sitting down before remembering. "Oh, I almost forgot. We had some of the kona coffee blend you like." Reaching in her bag, she pulled out the three pound box. If Hannah was doing favors for Jude, she could do favors for her in return.

Hannah shot her a smile, nudging Liam's hand away from the remains of the rice. "What a nice surprise."

"Should I make us some?"

"Eat first, and then we can have it with ice cream. If Lee didn't eat it all, of course." Her tone was casual, but Hannah was no longer smiling.

Her seat put Callie directly across from Liam, and he didn't return her welcoming wave. Replaying the last several moments, she suddenly wondered if she'd interrupted some sort of serious conversation. Jude did meet her eyes when she looked over at him, which was something. They hadn't saved her much food, but it was more than she expected. Afterwards, she made the adults coffee from the freshly ground beans. There hadn't been any ice cream, so no one lingered, Hannah taking her cup to the living room while Phil retired to his home office.

"You're pathetic." At first, she thought she heard him wrong. Jude was washing dishes none too quietly while she wiped down the table, but when she turned around, Liam was fixing her with a steely stare.

"What?"

"You always have to show me up in front of my parents, don't you?"

"I just brought them coffee. She got Jude food at the grocery store, I was only…"

She was wasting her breath, because he was building up to a full on rant. "Coming in late from your girly job, sucking up to them. What, you think they'll be character witnesses for you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me." When had he gotten so close? Usually, this proximity was exciting, but right now her heart was beating out of her chest. Jude had turned off the water and was openly gaping, and she wished Liam would lower his damned voice.

"Did you… you read my email." She didn't give him the satisfaction of allowing her voice to break, but the betrayal was sharp and strong, sweeping over her like a wave.

"Of course, you used **my** computer. Didn't anyone tell you not to use birthdays for passwords? All I had to do was ask Jude when he was born, and bam."

If possible, the thought that Jude had been an accomplice made her feel even worse. She had thought about telling Liam her plans, but had decided to hold off until she knew something more concrete. She hadn't planned on telling Jude a thing until it was definitively happening.

"Aren't you going to write her back? It's rude to ignore your social worker, **CJ**." He used the name like a weapon, the impact hitting her squarely in the gut. The wash cloth slapped against the table as she dropped it, squaring her shoulders and turning to face Liam directly.

"I have no idea what's going on with you, but stay the hell out of my stuff. If I want to email **my** social worker, that is **my** business. And if I want to buy your mom coffee with **my** money, I can. Now, if you're just going to stand around and yell, get out of the kitchen while the rest of us are cleaning up."

Unlike Liam, she had kept her voice low, but it still startled her when Hannah stuck her head around the door. "Everything all right in here? You're disturbing Phil."

Callie picked up her wash cloth, finishing the table in three quick strokes. "Things are fine." She didn't need to look to know Jude had gone back to scrubbing a pot, which left Liam standing inches away from her, looking pissed.

"Lee, go cool off." Hannah walked to her sun, physically turning him toward the garage. Surprisingly, he went outside without any protest. Hannah turned back to the kitchen, staring intently at the wallpaper over Callie's shoulder. "Liam's under a lot of stress, guys. Try not to rile him up, all right?" Hannah didn't bother waiting for a reply, and Callie slumped against the table once she had gone.

"She didn't get my apples." Jude came to stand across from her, rubbing soapy hands on his jeans.

"What?"

"Hannah forgot my apples at the store. Remembered all of Liam's stupid stuff, though."

I wouldn't have brought her coffee if I'd known that." Her next question climbed up her throat, but asking it would acknowledge something they rarely talked about. Well, it wasn't like things could get much worse tonight. "Did you… did you take anything you weren't supposed to?"

He stared down at the damp tabletop. "Mrs Matthews left her gardening stuff outside, and I had it, but then she came back. She thought I was just going to keep it for her, I think."

"Are you glad she stopped you?"

His eyes flicked up, and the anger in them made her stomach clench. "I wanted to mess up her stupid flowers!"

"Oh, Jude, you didn't."

He shook his head. "Only 'cause Phil got home and told me to come inside. Do we have a new social worker?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" As far as she knew, the agency didn't know about Jude's problem, which had only gotten serious in the last couple of years.

"Liam said you wrote to a her, but Bill isn't a her. I thought… I thought maybe you told someone about what I did."

She was torn between wanting to hug him, and wanting to curl up and cry. "I didn't write to our social worker. Is that why you wanted to read my email?"

He shook his head, anger draining out of his face as quickly as it had built. "I didn't want to read anything, Liam just asked when my birthday was and left. I wouldn't have told him if I knew what he wanted it for." He suddenly looked small again, and as lost and miserable as she felt.

She sighed. "It was kind of an easy password. Was that today?"

"No, yesterday." So Liam had been in her account at least twice. She didn't know how to feel about that. For some reason, it bothered her that Liam not only knew her work nickname, but also thought it was stupid. Work was something she did to make home better, but she still liked to keep those lives somewhat separate.

"Go finish the dishes, and then I have a treat. You can eat it while we read Fudge."

"It's not even 8:30."

"I know, but I thought we'd start early. We're nearly at the part where Turtle gets sprayed by the skunk."

While he was busy, she went upstairs, found the laptop, and changed her password. Not even Jude knew their parents wedding anniversary, mostly because it had rarely been celebrated. Stef's message seemed to be mocking her, but she was too drained to reply. **Should** Callie write their social worker? She hated that Jude was alone for the afternoon hours, not to mention the number of foster care rules it went against. Bill could easily get him into some sort of after school program, but that would mean the Olmsted's would know one of them had broken their confidence. That would not go over well.

Still, allowing this to go unchecked wouldn't do, either. She made a mental note to buy Jude apples at the store tomorrow, even though it was only putting a bandage on a gushing wound. They both knew Callie had been kidding herself with the thought that this would just go away on its own.

To torture herself further, she reread Stef's message. Somehow, what had seemed embarrassing eight hours earlier now almost filled her with relief. it felt like someone was in her corner, if only for the moment it had taken Stef to write back to her. _Please don't hesitate to contact me_, Stef had said, and for a moment, Callie was sorely tempted.

_Stef, What do you do when your baby brother takes random things to make himself feel better? Can you break up with your sort of boyfriend when you live in the same house? How do you deal with him invading your privacy, and thinking you're pathetic for wanting a better life? Can you tell me not to drink coffee again, because that was the first time someone aside from my boss seemed to care about what I was doing in forever…_

In the end, she erased her history, replaced **Liam's **laptop, and went to share a cookie with her brother.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Hey Stef,_

_Thanks for emailing me back. I appreciate you being honest. I don't know why I thought you would know about this kind of thing, I guess I just hoped you would -_

No, none of that would do. Frustrated, she deleted the paragraph. This was her third attempt at replying, and lunch was nearly over. It didn't help that she felt hyper aware of her surroundings. Logically, she knew there was no way for Liam to be looking over her shoulder, but ever since realizing he had hacked her email two days earlier, nothing felt safe. By nature, she was a private person, not liking any of her feelings to be on display, for herself to read or otherwise. Writing personal essays were particularly difficult for her, because it required a level of honesty and thought she didn't like allowing herself to reach.

She hadn't given herself time to agonize about emailing Stef on Saturday. Jude was losing it, and she, Callie, needed to find a solution. Now, several days and a dozen deleted responses later, she had no choice but to think about it. Why had she thought of Stef in the first place? They didn't know one another - hell, Callie didn't even know if Stef liked her -

Except, yes, she did. Stef had remembered her name, Callie could tell that by the reaction to her name tag. Stef had smiled at her. When she had come into the coffee shop, she had been in work mode - Callie thought she had even been able to make out the lump of her gun under her jacket. But when she had left, she'd been smiling. Hell, she had given her - not _them_, just _Callie_ - a huge tip. That in itself was a big deal, people in a hurry or frustrated didn't usually tip anything.

But so what? So, maybe Stef did like her. That didn't mean she owed her any favors. Callie had to admit that she had been operating on pure instinct when she'd composed that email, the same instinct that had kept Stef's business card tucked into her wallet.

_Stef, thanks for getting back to me so fast. I appreciate your honesty. I knew this was a long shot, but I had to ask._

_Callie_

_PS: Let me at least get you one latte._

That was possibly the worst - and shortest - email she had ever written, but she sent it before she could reread. It would be rude not to acknowledge the message at all, but she also wanted to put the entire thing out of her mind. If she could stop using her email, it wouldn't matter if Liam read it. Best to keep any other thoughts on this to herself, especially if they were childish and stupid, like this one had obviously been. If that meant offending Stef with a two sentence reply, too bad. Stef was an adult with a life that didn't include helping random foster girls, she'd get over it. Hell, she probably already was.

Callie wondered when she would do the same.

She received an A-minus on the _To Kill A Mockingbird_ final, appearing to surprise both herself and her teacher. Callie didn't do badly in school, but she also didn't do particularly well, in English especially. Her teacher kept saying to apply herself, which was a stupid thing to say. If Callie wanted her teacher to know anything about her, she would. Still, the unexpected achievement put a spring in her step at the end of the day. She waved at a couple of people on the way out of school, not because she especially liked them, but because her good mood wanted to be shared. Her boss, Mary Anne, was always telling her to smile more. Today, that wouldn't be a problem.

A horn honked as she was nearing the first crosswalk toward down town, and she looked up to see Liam's familiar jeep pulling up along side her. They hadn't spoken at all since Monday, and she was prepared to be angry at him for a long, long time. So what if he was her maybe sort of boyfriend? It didn't give him the right to read anything she wrote without her permission. _Ever_!

But now, here he was, and she couldn't exactly outrun him. Anyway, he was driving in the direction of her work. If he was prepared to grovel by giving her a free ride, who was she to complain? Their eyes met in the mirror, and he rolled down the passenger window.

"Hi."

"Hey. Going to work?"

"Depends. You offering me a ride?"

"That depends, can you score me a free drink?" Was he serious right now? He laughed, unlocking the door for her. "C'mon, get in." As jokes went, that had been awful, he wasn't getting any favors from her for at least the rest of the week. But his car was warm and smelled like him. He made a point of switching radio stations to the '90s one she liked, and she couldn't find any other reason to say no.

Liam's car was one of the few pastimes that he seemed to take any real pride in. He and his dad had worked on it throughout the latter half of high school, and it was the only thing to survive the last couple of years completely in tact. She thought - some days - that the car was in better shape than Liam himself, who seemed to move from task to task almost aimlessly. Taking care of his car was one of the few things that kept him grounded, which was why she knew her birthday present of a waxing kit had been well received.

He didn't offer rides freely. When Hannah would ask him to run an errand or drive one of them to an appointment, he usually got her to give him the keys to her car. What did it mean that he was willingly picking Callie up in his own? She wasn't sure, but she half expected him to pull out a Kit Kat at any second.

He didn't, and the ride was mostly silent. Paula Cole came on, and helped to make the fluttering in her stomach abate the tiniest bit. "So, I'm sorry for biting your head off," he finally mumbled, two blocks from her work.

He would have to do better than that. "Sounded like you were having a hard time before I even got home."

"Yeah, my dad was on my case about not getting that job at eBay."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I know how much you wanted that." The more he talked, the more sympathetic to his mindset she found herself becoming. Part of her didn't want to hear his excuses, but the bigger part relished the ready-made explanations. That part knew Liam wouldn't treat her this badly unless something else had been going on. _He read your email_, the smaller part kept piping in. Callie pushed that thought away, no matter how true it was.

"I'm on your side," she told him. "I'll always be on your side. If you wanted to know why I was using the fam- um, your computer, you could have just asked."

"I know, I just didn't know why you were suddenly so obsessed. You stared at it the whole time I had it Sunday afternoon, and I was only playing online Scrabble."

"I did?"

"Yeah. First I thought you were looking at me, but you were just staring at that goddamned computer, like it was magic."

"Lee, are you saying you were jealous of my email?"

"I…I guess I was. I'm just used to you being really into us. It…surprised me when you were looking forward to something else."

"It was important!" A hell of a lot more important than online Scrabble, anyway. "I thought…I thought it would help us. I mean, it's mostly for Jude, but if it were to happen…"

"It's not gonna happen, Callie, don't be melodramatic." He pulled into a parking space, shutting off the engine. "You're smart, not like most girls. Don't start acting like them now."

God, but she hated when he gave her backhanded compliments. "That's not the point. It was my mistake to make, and it would have been my decision to tell you about it."

"So, you're admitting that it was a mistake? Your social worker has been leaving us alone, and that's good. You guys are doing well here, and we don't want that to change."

"Is…are you threatening me?"

His hand came to cover both of hers, where they were twisted in her lap. "God, of course not. I'm just saying that Mom and Dad have been under pressure from the agency. They want them to take Janet back, and they don't understand what a pain in the ass she was. If they start looking into you and Jude, they might find out that he's by himself a lot."

"That's not my fault."

"You're the one who wanted to get a job, instead of being at home with him."

She wasn't sure how two underaged foster kids being home alone was better than just one. Of course, they all knew she considered Jude to be her responsibility. Was he seriously trying to make her feel guilty for his family screwing up? What was going on with him? This was not the apology she had envisioned.

Pulling away from him, she reached to unlock her door. "Look, I'm gonna be late."

He pushed her hand back down. "You have ten minutes. I gave you a ride, so stop freaking out and just listen to me. I won't read your email, as long as you run whatever you're going to say by me first."

"How is that any different?" He clearly hadn't tried to access it since she'd changed her password, correctly anticipating that Stef's email had felt like a rejection. If Callie had just been emailing her social worker, she more than likely would have written the email off entirely. Liam had no reason to suspect that she'd already sent a reply, her appreciation for Stef ultimately overriding the humiliation.

"I just want to know what you're going to do, so I can help you from making any more stupid mistakes. It'll be good for both of us."

She seriously doubted that. Why was he suddenly so determined to keep tabs on her? Last year, he couldn't have cared less about what she did. But last year, he'd been doing a short stint at community college. Since dropping out, she was suddenly interesting to him again. She could understand wanting the same level of commitment to their relationship, but then, why was he against her making steps for that to improve? Feeling distinctly used, and not entirely sure why, she glanced longingly toward the freedom of the coffee shop. It was strange to think of work as freeing, but Liam wasn't allowed to talk extensively to her inside. He'd have to wait, just like everyone else. She wished he would wake up and realize there were other, equally valuable people in her life.

"Look, Lee. You know I care about you so, so much. But I'm…I'm just trying to think of the future. It's not just me I have to worry about. I want Jude to have the best life possible."

"Oh, for God sakes, he's in fourth grade! He has an effing bike. What else does a kid need at that age?"

He just wasn't going to see any point she was trying to make. "He's not happy, Liam. Surely you notice that. I think maybe, if I can get him into some after school tutoring, or or maybe some kind of club…"

"Jesus, you're not his mom."

"Yeah, but someone has to be!" Liam knew not to mess with Jude, why was he pushing this rule? She flicked the lock on her door and threw it open. He reached for her, but she swung her bag up, forcing him to either lean back or get hit in the face. "Thanks for the ride. Talk to me when you're ready to think about someone other than yourself."

She felt his gaze drilling into her the entire walk through the parking lot. She looked back when she was at the front door, in time to see his car start. Good; she wouldn't have gotten him a free drink anyway. She'd thought she would feel more regret over their conversation as she got ready to clock in. Instead, there was just a simmering, indignant outrage.

By far, opening on Sunday mornings was the worst kind of torture. Creeping out of her room at 5:40, she determined that today would require at least one coconut mocha.

"Hey." The whisper made her jump, reflexes the only thing saving her from tumbling down the entire flight of stairs. Jude's head was sticking out of his door, his wide eyes twin spots of light in the dim hallway.

"Jeez! It's way too early to be up, Monkey." This was especially true for Jude, who seemed specially created to sleep through any sort of alarm.

"Can I come to work with you?" Now that he had her attention, he apparently no longer felt the need to whisper.

"I'm going to be making coffee for six hours, you don't want to watch that." She deliberately lowered her voice.

"Please? It's so boring when you're gone in the mornings." He wasn't taking the hint, but she had to admit that she had been working a lot of weekends. It was that, or work a couple hours before school and walk around like an espresso smelling zombie.

"Okay. But if you get bored, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Don't worry, I'm bringing my homework!" He emerged fully dressed, backpack already on, the previous night's request to read half an hour earlier suddenly making a lot more sense.

"Right, like you'll actually do it. But okay, go brush your teeth while I write Hannah a note."

"Don't bother, she doesn't even notice when _you're_ not here."

That was probably true. Often, when Callie would return home around lunch time, Phil or Hannah would remark that they hadn't even realized she was gone. It wasn't abnormal for Liam to sleep past noon, weekend or otherwise. Apparently, his parents thought his habits were universal for all teenagers.

"I'll make you my special sausage sandwich for breakfast," she announced, once they were outside in the slightly chilled morning.

"What's special about it?"

"That it cooks in 45 seconds."

"Really? Wow!" Ten year olds were probably the only demographic to be impressed by frozen food. In fact, Jude was impressed about everything on the walk, from how bright the moon still was to the paper boy passing them on his bike. Callie hadn't realized people still had the paper delivered, but Jude declared that would be his first job. By the time they came in through the back way of the coffee shop, she was wondering why she hadn't brought him along long before now, his good mood was so infectious.

It turned out that the strangest thing to happen on bringing Jude to work was Taylor falling in love with him. They hadn't worked together in several days, but when she walked in with Jude at her shoulder, it was as though her coworker was a different person. "Callie gets kind of busy, so if you need anything, you find me, all right?"

"What if you're busy, too?"

"Ah, you see, I can do lots of things at once. That's why _I'm_ the cashier, and Callie just makes the drinks." Clearly, this new found love wouldn't be extending to Callie, but she wasn't complaining. Sundays were just busy enough that two people usually worked, and six hours standing near Taylor dragged. Jude might turn out to be a good buffer.

Callie made Jude his sandwich, but had time for little else. They opened at seven, but had an hour or so of prep to accomplish before that. She forgot Jude was there for a good twenty minutes, looking up to see him perched at a corner table reading a paperback. Good, so he'd brought more than just homework.

There was a steady flow of customers for the first hour, a mixture of moms on their way to do grocery shopping, and hungover party goers from the night before, having just enough energy to order black coffee. Most people got their drinks and left, leaving Jude largely at the cluster of tables. At some point, he went over to an armchair and curled up. With his back to her, it was impossible to tell if he was even still awake.

Around 8:30, a couple of women wandered in. She didn't immediately recognize Stef without her police uniform, but by the time it was her turn to order, there was no doubt about it. Sending her friend off to presumably find a seat, she turned a full blown grin on Callie. "Well, fancy seeing you here."

"Hey. Lattes again?" It was strange, how easy conversation was with Stef. Taylor was by far the more outgoing of the two of them, another reason why it was good to have her on cash. But Stef just made Callie want to be some kind of strange, friendly person.

"One latte, and one apple chai."

"Coming right up."

"Looks like someone's been adopted," Taylor murmured. Blanching, Callie glanced up to see Jude no longer in his spot. Instead, he was standing beside Stef's friend, holding out his notebook.

"It's a curse," Stef laughed, following her gaze.

"I'm so sorry, that's my little brother. I don't usually bring him with me, he's probably bored-"

"Actually, I was talking about Lena. She can't go five minutes without talking to a kid. We have three at home, but apparently she still needs her fix in public."

Callie had no idea what to say to that, so she just kept smiling, finishing the drinks on autopilot. They lived together, with kids? Did that mean they were some kind of couple? It was hard to imagine Stef dating anyone, let alone a woman. Their kids must be older, if they were able to go out to breakfast alone. That meant she'd been with this woman for a while.

It wasn't that Callie particularly had a problem with gay people, more like she hadn't ever talked to one. Stef paid for their drinks - Callie had been so distracted by this revelation she had forgotten to tell Taylor not to charge her. Callie watched her walk over to where Jude and Lena were now sharing the couch, seemingly involved in some sort of assignment. Lena took her drink without looking up, and Stef gave her a fond smile, sitting down on her other side.

That smile was what made Callie feel the worst. It was such a natural, easy thing to do. Why should she have been taken aback by who Stef was married to? _You know why_, the voice at the back of her head whispered. _You wanted her all to yourself. She has a family and a wife, she doesn't have time for you_. Which was good, because Callie didn't need anything from Stef. Still, this revelation left her feeling hollow, even as Jude appeared to be having a great time.

She kept waiting for them to send him away, but he sat beside Lena for the entire time it took them to finish their drinks. Once, Stef looked up, saw her watching, and sent her a cautious smile. Callie returned it, mouthing 'thank you.' She suspected Lena had been roped into helping Jude with math, his worst subject. If nothing else, he'd be getting a good grade on this homework assignment.

She slipped off to the bathroom around 9:20, and when she came back, Lena and Stef were gone. Jude was in their spot, reading his paperback and smiling. "Glad one of us is having a good day," she mumbled.

Jude looked up, making eye contact with her for the first time in over an hour. "I'm gonna come to work with you all the time!"

Taylor shot him a full blown grin. "Please do! I think you're helping our tips. CJ, look, we already have nearly $20."

Not even decent tips could lift her mood, and she found herself counting down the minutes until they could go home. Jude was all smiles as they left hours later, chattering about Taylor and "Ms. Lena," who had helped him understand division better than any of his teachers. As predicted, he hadn't been missed by any of the Olmsteads, but that didn't seem to phase him in the least. Had Callie ever been that optimistic about… anything? She couldn't remember. To her annoyance, Her low mood persisted for the rest of the day.

Which was why she found herself slipping into Liam's room the moment Jude was in bed. They hadn't seen much of each other all day, but he smiled expectantly as she closed his door behind herself.

"Was wondering when you'd finally see sense." He pushed a pile of car magazines to the floor, where they mingled with the rest of his mess. Crawling on the bed beside him, she dropped her head on his shoulder. His arm fell across her waist, and neither of them spoke for several moments.

"I missed you," she finally mumbled. Really, she missed their easy closeness, but that wasn't something she could, or even wanted to tell him. "I don't like fighting."

"Me neither." He ran a hand through her hair, closing his magazine to finally look at her directly. "Jeez, do you ever not smell like coffee?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's a permanent part of me by now." She laughed, stretching up to kiss him. He responded instantly, letting her set the pace. For a while, with his hands in her hair and his clean, boy smell all around her, things felt good. But soon he was impatient, rolling on top of her and palming her breasts. His mouth moved down her neck, and he probably would have attempted to take off her shirt, if she hadn't distracted him by sucking at his pulse point. Apparently, that was a good thing to do, even though it made her feel vaguely like a vampire.

"Liam?" Hannah's voice made them leap apart. Thankfully, she was content to exchange good nights and love you's through the closed door, but Callie's skin still stung with nerves. It wasn't that she thought Hannah would look in on her and Jude - that had never happened in all the time they had lived here. She had also never been in the awkward position of hearing both sides of that nightly ritual before.

She curled into his side again once Hannah had gone, more for closeness than anything else. But Liam was never into cuddling, and it was ultimately easier to leave before he started up with the other stuff again.

Alone in her own bed half an hour later, she felt worse than ever. Making up with Liam was supposed to have helped, except, what had they even resolved? Nothing. Everything had simply returned to how it always had been, and he hadn't even said he'd missed her back. As she fell asleep with a lump clogging her throat and a mask of drying tears, she found that Stef was somehow still the person she felt the most betrayed by.

Author's notes: Sorry for the long, long wait, it's been a crazy week or so over here. Hope this longer part made up for it slightly. Major, major thanks to starophie for betaing!

On another note, let me know if you find Lena helping Jude with math cliche (which isn't to say it won't happen again). Also, yay for our cast filming again!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

One afternoon, she returned home from school to discover the spare bed in her room gone. Not just stripped, but completely gone, leaving nothing behind but freshly vacuumed carpet. The closet, which until just that morning had held the majority of Janet's things, was significantly emptier. Considering the two of them had barely filled up half the space, that was saying something.

Callie would be lying if she said she hadn't been expecting this, ever since that awful, final hospital stay a month ago. But the longer Janet's things had remained, the more she had wondered, just to herself in the deep quiet of the middle of the night, if maybe the agency would convince them to take Janet back one more time.

Opening a dresser drawer, she dug through t-shirts until she felt matted fur. Janet's rabbit was pushed to the back corner, where Callie kept all her own private possessions. This wasn't hers to keep, but until it could be given back to Janet, it would have to do.

Looking across the room, Callie was glad she had taken the animal when she had. The likelihood that any of her things would be returned to Janet was extremely laughable. She could ask if they knew where Janet was staying, or, in turn, whether they knew that half of Janet's clothes were still on their hangers, but what was the point? If her input on the matter had been wanted, she would have known. Closing her drawer, she sunk onto her bed, and said a final, silent goodbye to her roommate.

For just this moment, she would miss her, but ultimately, she had to admit to herself that it was better this way. The longer they had been together, the more responsibility she would have felt for Janet, something she could simply not afford. _I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. I hope you find people who can._

The only acknowledgement to the changes in her room was Phil asking if she'd like to get a double bed that night over dinner.

"It'll be nice for you all to have your own rooms," Hannah interjected, like this hadn't been the case for weeks. In the month since she'd left, this was the most inadvertent thing to be said about Janet's departure, and now, Hannah was trying to twist it into some sort of reward for good behavior? Callie clenched her fist under the table, the prick of nails on skin a physical reminder to keep her mouth shut.

"I miss Janet," Jude remarked to no one in particular. His knife scraping over his plate was the only sound for a good thirty seconds, and Callie was too alarmed to look at anyone except her brother, who was too far away to kick under the table.

"Well, I like having just you three in the house." Apparently, Hannah wasn't just going to pretend like he hadn't spoken, but she barely looked in Jude's direction. "You're welcome to redecorate the room if you'd like, Callie."

"Yeah, she certainly has the money for it," Liam muttered. He was close enough to kick, but she didn't bother, keeping her eyes on her chicken. The strangest things were pissing him off lately. Just that afternoon, she had come in from school, and he'd stared at her shirt like it was the most hideous piece of clothing he'd ever seen.

"God, don't tell me you actually wore that all day?"

Considering she had received a rare compliment about the same shirt from Taylor the day before, she rolled her eyes behind his back and finished making Jude a snack, making a mental note not to wear this shirt in front of Liam in future.

"I like my room fine," she said now, hoping that would be enough for them to drop the topic. Dinner was the only time they spent together as any sort of unit, and after living under the same roof for a year, she had accepted it would never not be a stilted affair.

Phil buttered a second roll, appearing to not be phased by the conversation. She wondered sometimes, whether he or Hannah was so particular about the types of kids they took in. If it were up to Phil, would Janet still be here? For that matter, would _any_of them be here?

"Let me know if you change your mind," he told her, and she stabbed a piece of potato as though it were responsible for her awful thoughts.

"Jude, do you have anything we need to sign?" Hannah asked, as they were finally finishing up one of their more awkward meals in recent memory. This was her oh-so-delicate way of asking about his grades, something she had taken to doing at least once a week. Callie's stomach churned with empathetic humiliation, as all eyes were now on him.

"Nope. But you can see my latest math test, if you want." Jude had clearly been waiting for just this sort of opening, because he jumped up, running for his backpack then and there. "I got twenty-one out of twenty-five!"

"Hey, you didn't tell me that!" Callie grabbed the paper out of his hand. _Great job!_ was written at the top in bold ink, with _Don't forget to show your work_ just below that.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." He took it back eagerly, passing it to Hannah. "See?"

Her eyes skimmed the paper in one quick sweep. "Hmm. Did you see this part about showing your work?"

"Uh-huh. I just ran out of time, and I wanted to finish all the problems. I thought that was the most important thing."

"Well, you'll know better for next time." Standing up, she carried the paper to the trash along with her plate. It went in with the remains of her salad, and Jude's whole body slumped.

"I wanted to keep it," he confided to Callie later over dirty dishes, their conversation masked by clanging cutlery and running water. "I've never gotten over twenty problems right before."

"I know you did." She glanced toward the bulging garbage bag, sitting by the back door waiting to go out. "Do you want me to try and get it back?"

"Nah, it probably has that gross salad dressing everywhere." His voice broke on the last word. "I just wanted it to be a surprise for everyone." She reached to hug him, dripping hands and all, but he turned away.

"Why don't I finish up here? You can go take a bath, and then we can do three chapters."

"I don't want to do _Fudge_ tonight."

"Okay, well, how about—"

"I don't want to read _anything_!" He slammed a plate into the dishwasher, making the whole row rattle, and she was too mad on his behalf to reprimand.

_From: CJacob97_

_To: Sfoster_

_Subject: FYI_

_Hey Stef,_

_Hope we haven't scared you away from the Java Hut for good just yet – I still owe you at least one latte! I'm just writing because Jude wants Lena to know he got a B on his latest math test. Please tell her thank you from the both of us. Jude's always struggles a lot with math, so this really means a lot to him._

_CJ_

God, but that had been risky. With Liam downstairs, it had made sense to just email Stef from his room. He wouldn't have to know the computer had been moved, and another fight could be avoided completely. She had been careful to not close a single browser tab, and to delete her own cookies and history. This was an easy trick to learn, especially when you were surrounded by everyone trying to do their own things on the school's firewalled computers. She had been in his room under five minutes, but she still left with her heart racing. Stef was going to think she was a terrible correspondent.

Callie tried to tell herself that that didn't matter, because this had only been for Jude's sake. Okay, maybe a _little_ bit for her sake. She hadn't seen Stef since that day with Lena nearly two weeks ago. For the first few days, Callie had been perfectly happy not to have to serve Stef, still hurt for no concrete reason that she could put a finger on. She had made a promise with herself that she would treat Stef like any other customer from now on, albeit a customer who left good tips and smiled at Callie for more than her espresso. _You don't have any of your other regulars' email addresses_, part of her whispered. _Even if you did, you certainly wouldn't use them._

She ran a frustrated hand through her hair. This was all just too confusing to think about, and growing more so by the week. She could hear the quiet, familiar sounds of her brother in the bathroom, and decided to get a start on her history assignment. Forty minutes later, she was done, and Liam's baritone could still be heard below. Jude had said he didn't want to be read to, but that didn't mean she couldn't give him something else. Gathering her courage, she entered Liam's room for a second time.

It paid off, because there was an equally short note from Stef, sent two minutes earlier. _Atta boy! Lena says great job. Glad to hear things are going well for the two of you. Give up this latte thing, you're not going to win. ~S_

Callie was so pleasantly surprised, she nearly forgot to erase her evidence of being there. She got out just in time, because Liam came up the stairs as she was crossing the hall into Jude's room. "Ooh, story time already?"

Bristling, she was about to fire back with a retort, but when she looked at him, Liam was smiling. "He says he doesn't want one tonight. I'm just going to make sure."

"Well, if you get off early, I might want some bedtime entertainment." He stepped close enough that she could smell the beer on his breath – that explained how he and his dad had gotten along for so long tonight.

"We'll see," she laughed, fending off the hand that reached for her ass as she turned away. "Get out of here!"

He followed her into Jude's room instead. "Night, Judy-boy!"

Jude, who was lying on his stomach and showing no reaction to her entrance, glanced up with surprised interest at Liam's voice. "Night, Lee."

"Nice job on that test of yours, man. Keep knockin' 'em dead." Liam squeezed Jude's sock glad foot that was sticking out from under the covers, before walking backwards from the room.

"Guess what?" she blurted it before he was fully gone, closing the door on Liam's retreating figure and sitting backwards in Jude's desk chair. "I heard from Ms. Lena."

He sat bolt upright. "Really?" She had his full attention now.

"Yup. She says to tell you great job. Oh, and Ms. Stef said atta boy."

"How did you talk to them?"

"I emailed Stef. That's who I was talking to the other week, when Liam thought it was Bill."

He turned sideways on the bed to face her fully, suddenly serious. "Does Liam know?"

"No. I borrowed the computer while he was down with Phil."

"That was kind of stupid."

"Hey. I wanted her to be able to know how good you did. A B is awesome!"

"Yeah, but I don't want you and Liam to have another fight. That's more important than math."

"I was careful." She took a breath, trying to tamp down on the knot of defensive tension rising up her spine.

"I know. But maybe you should be even more careful, and email them from some place not here. It's better."

"I just don't like when you're upset."

"Yeah, well, I don't like when you're scared."

She burst out laughing. "I haven't ever been scared of Liam. We fight, but all friends do. We're fine now. I'm gonna go see him after I tell you good night, unless you want _Fudge_ after all."

"Nah, I'm good. Just…remember to be careful, even when you guys aren't fighting."

"I think I'm the one who's supposed to give _you_advice, monkey boy."

"That's a stupid rule." He leaned forward, putting his arms around her shoulders as she bent to kiss his forehead. "Thanks for emailing Ms. Lena. Did _she_ say anything about the showing work?"

She stroked hair out of his eyes. "I didn't tell her, but I don't think she would have cared."

When he drew back, his eyes were sad again. "I wish she were my teacher."

"Maybe she can be your helper instead. If you come to work with me and she's there again, you can thank her in person."

"Maybe." He didn't look entirely pleased, but it was far better than the teary expression he'd worn after dinner. "Night, Callie."

In the hallway, she hesitated, Jude's words echoing in her head. She was certain that she'd never been scared of Liam, but that didn't mean she was always comfortable around him. He was half drunk tonight, which meant seeing him could go either way. Their interactions were like some sort of seesaw, either really, really up, or completely down. If there was a way to balance that out, she didn't know it. She thought of Janet, and that empty half of a room, and it was suddenly far easier to go into Liam, who pulled her down beside him, content to kiss her and run heavy hands through her hair.

**Author's notes: Sorry for the wait. Crazy midterms, and even crazier writers block later in the fic. Thanks again to Starophie for betaing. Her imput makes these chapters so, so much better.**

**Speaking of chapters, this particular one is bing posted in celebration that our show has been renewed for a second season! Here's hoping we get more Callie/momma time!**


	6. Chapter 6

_Everything okay_? This was a check up text, and more for the store than Callie. It was the second one in two hours, and she tried not to let her annoyance show on her face. Their only long-term customer was an older man reading a copy of the New York Times, but it really wouldn't be good form for him to look up to find his barista scowling.

It was a late Thursday afternoon, and she was manning the shop alone for the first time in her life. This wouldn't have happened if Mary Anne hadn't had a semi-emergency involving her elderly cat, and Taylor was at a full-fledged emergency dentist appointment. The idea of being the only person working had been an exciting prospect – at least, for the first twenty minutes. She quickly realized it was a pain in the ass to run both the cash register and make drinks. She might have to cut Taylor more slack, because this credit card machine was obnoxious. Still, she didn't appreciate Mary Anne's passive aggressive nagging via text. No one had sent their drinks back or accused her of not giving back the correct change, so she must be doing all right.

Of course, it didn't help that it was raining, which always seemed to put everyone on edge. It wasn't particularly cold, but she still found herself craving something warm and sweet. Her usual coconut mocha was better iced, so she decided to go for a chocolate raspberry latte. She even splurged for the whipped cream; she was getting to keep all the tips, after all. Mary Anne's husband Logan was coming by to close with her when she got off at 7, but that was when they would normally count them out anyway. Unless he said otherwise, she was pretty sure she was home free.

New York Times guy rustled a page, and she contemplated doing something productive, instead of staring out at the rain or fending off texts from both Taylor and their boss. She only did homework while on the clock if it was particularly slow, or if she were especially behind, but Liam was taking her to the movies tonight. At least, she thought he was. He had sent her a rare text during lunch, saying he'd pick her up from work, and a dollar movie seemed right up his budgeting alley. Ideally, she would have preferred their first date to have been on a weekend, but as long as he was paying, she wasn't going to say a word.

Whatever he was planning, there was no way she would have any energy to do homework when they got home. This also meant Jude would be eating alone with Phil and Hannah, but he could handle that for a night, right? She swallowed the guilt down with a sip of coffee, but it kept gnawing at her stomach all the same.

The bell over the door rang, and a cop wandered in. Wait, no, not just any cop, but Stef's partner. The one who had called her kiddo, and whose name she couldn't remember for the life of her. He went straight for the pastries, barely even looking in her direction. If he recognized her in turn, it didn't show. Stef herself turned up a few minutes later, looking much worse for wear. Her hair was sticking to her forehead, and she was pulling off her dripping jacket before she was fully through the door.

"Thanks for waiting with the umbrella. No, I didn't mind walking half a block in the pouring rain, not at all." The snarl was directed at her partner, but carried easily through the entire shop. Mid-way through paying for his doughnut, her partner looked mortified.

Thankful she'd had the foresight to start preparing a latte to Stef's specifications, Callie was able to slide it across the counter at the exact moment Stef turned from draping her bedraggled coat over a chair.

"Third shot's on me," she said, offering a rueful grin. Stef didn't look like she was in the mood to be messed with, but that was all the more reason to hand out extra caffeine, right?

Stef's smile was forced, but she took the drink gratefully. Her partner gave Callie a calculating look, but still couldn't seem to place her. "Hernandez, pay for my latte," Stef directed, and he obeyed instantly, looking sheepish. Right, Hernandez, that was his name. Watch, he'd probably call her kiddo again. Instead, he did something even more offensive: he didn't leave a tip.

They stepped slightly away from the counter, but their conversation was perfectly audible over the quiet acoustic music. "Do you want me to bring the car around?"

"Just go on home, Daniel. I'll walk from here once the rain's let up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's not far. Now, go on, partner. I don't want to hear from you for fourteen hours."

"I…okay." He left without any further comment, and Stef sank down into an armchair, nursing her drink and becoming involved in her phone. Slipping out from behind the counter, Callie quietly picked up the heap that was Stef's sodden jacket, hanging it neatly over a high-backed chair. Stef's eyes never lifted from her phone, but a cold hand squeezed Callie's arm in thanks as she passed by for the second time.

She retreated quickly behind the safety of the counter. That was the best thing about working in the food industry, no one could easily touch you, in gratitude or otherwise. Stef probably didn't even realize what she was doing, she'd been so focused on texting. Still, it was better back here. More professional. Callie reached for her drink, simply to have something to do with her hands, and nearly froze. Stef didn't like her drinking coffee.

And why did she care what Stef thought? She had no say in how Callie lived her life. Still, this sip was forcing down even more guilt, and she found herself almost frantically rearranging the area around the cash register. If she moved that cup of pens just so, then maybe her drink wouldn't be quite so visible.

"Are you trying to hide that coffee from me? 'Cause you should know I saw it at the same time I saw Hernandez buy that battered doughnut." Cheeks burning, she forced herself to look over at Stef, who was giving her the most genuine smile of the afternoon. "I don't really care what you drink, you know."

"I know. It's just, my mom would have said the same thing. She would probably hate that I had this job in the first place."

"Does she have something against small businesses?"

"Um, I don't think so? At least, she never said anything. She just wanted me to focus on school. Probably thought I'd join the band or something."

"What do you play?"

"Um, the guitar, for a while. I quit after – when I was ten." It was hard, working the fact your mother was dead into a conversation without saying it directly. But that always derailed the entire discussion into pitying exclamations, and Callie _never_ wanted that type of treatment from Stef.

Thankfully, it didn't appear to be coming. "My son Brandon plays the piano."

She couldn't help scoffing. "Willingly?"

"God, I should hope so, those lessons aren't cheap."

"Oh. I just meant…my brother was playing that for a while, but he hated it."

"Which one?"

"What?"

"Your older brother, or your younger?"

"Oh. Jude."

"Yeah, instruments aren't for everyone. We tried to get our twins interested in playing something, but it never stuck." Her smile turned inward, no doubt remembering some private incident, and it made Callie painfully, stupidly jealous.

"I think Jude would enjoy dance," she found herself blurting. "I don't know how much lessons are, but I think it would be good for him to try something new."

To her selfish relief, Stef's attention instantly came back to her. "Shouldn't the cost be something your foster parents worry about?"

She shrugged. "I doubt they notice. Even if they did, I don't think they'd recognize the difference between my brother happy or otherwise." What was she doing? Stef didn't care about any of this. Somehow, though, she had the feeling Stef would be able to pick up on Jude's moods, from just that one hour they spent together.

"He seemed like a good kid to me."

"He is! He just…it's hard for him."

"And for you?"

"What about me?" For the first time, she noticed that New York Times guy had disappeared. There was nothing else here but the music and that unwavering gaze. Callie suddenly longed for a check up text from Mary Anne, or even a _don't burn down the place!_ from Taylor.

"I wish they paid him more attention. It's not hard, y'know? He doesn't need much. Do you know, they didn't even realize I had brought him to work with me the other weekend? He was gone six hours, and they didn't even think to check on him. What kind of 10 year old stays up in his room until lunch time?" She found herself almost shouting, and only stopped then to catch her breath. Until this moment, she hadn't realized how mad she still was at Phil and Hannah, but the more she talked, the stronger that anger seemed to become, sweeping over her and stealing her breath.

"You're a good big sister." Stef came to stand in front of her, close enough to reach out, if the counter weren't between them. Callie's eyes darted from the buttons on her uniform to the empty coffee cup in Stef's hand, anything to not see the pity in her face. She did what she had to, what she _wanted _to do for Jude, but no one ever acknowledged it, ever told her whether that was good, or if she were secretly smothering him.

"He deserves more," she told Stef's forearm in a wavering whisper, horrified that she was this close to crying at work. She'd never been this upset, not even the first week, when her cash register had been short $25 for a terrifying half an hour, and she was convinced she would be fired then and there.

"I know. But Callie, so do _you_." Stef breeched the space between them, tipping her face up so she could no longer hide. Her eyes were soft, and if there was pity there, it was well hidden. Callie bit down on her lip in a futile attempt to keep it from trembling, leaning into Stef's icy palm, and wishing she was brave enough to ask for more.

Callie's phone buzzed, and Stef stepped away, but not before Callie caught something that looked suspiciously like frustration flitting across her face. Grateful for the excuse to look down, she willed her own face to remain neutral. _Way to maintain professionalism in the workplace, Jacob_.

She barely had time to confirm that the message was from Liam, before the door flew open, admitting a group of shrieking preteens, laughing and shoving each other. At least one nearly fell on a damp patch of floor, which undoubtedly would have had a domino effect. She and Stef shared a horrified look, before Callie dove into the task of getting them the hell out of there again. Most wanted hot chocolate or mochas, but one girl wanted an iced cappuccino.

Various comments of "Oh gawd, you're crazy" or "It's freezing!" were exclaimed, and Callie had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from ordering them all to shut up. She unsuccessfully tried to imagine herself in their position; after all, she was only a couple years older, but god, she didn't think she had _ever_ been that loud. If she had, god help her mother.

Fortunately, they didn't linger, blowing back out faster than the storm that was still hanging overhead. Stef looked to be getting ready to leave as well, dubiously examining her jacket. Callie's phone buzzed again, but this time she ignored it completely. Let Mary Anne think she was busy helping a customer.

"Are you really gonna walk home?"

"It isn't far. Besides, my son has his permit, and I just texted him permission to pick me up." Stef looked vaguely terrified, but tried to hide it behind a brave smile. "On the other hand, I haven't decided if I'll let him drive back home again."

"Is he the piano player?" Stef nodded. "My mom said the concentration of playing an instrument makes learning other tasks easier."

"Huh, that so?" Stef didn't look entirely convinced, and She supposed she couldn't blame her. Still, it felt good to say some of her mother's advice out loud. She couldn't remember the last time she'd even thought about that saying, let alone applied it to her life. She would have to remember it the next time she was doing something new, like figuring out that stupid credit card machine.

"Thanks for the caffeine fix, CJ."

"Sorry it came with crazy tweens." If Stef wasn't going to bring up that weird, not quite resolved conversation that said tweens had partially interrupted, then neither was she.

"Don't worry about it." Stef was at the door now, smiling back at Callie over her shoulder. Before she could open it, it flew inward, forcing her to step backwards.

"Why aren't you answering your phone?" Liam blew right by Stef, eyes locked on Callie. Indignant anger and horrified humiliation battled for dominance, leaving her wordlessly slack-jawed. "I try to do something nice for you, and you're making me walk in the rain? Don't you know I've been sitting outside for like, ten minutes?"

"Lee—"

"Forget it, I don't know why I bother. You middle schoolers are all the same, ungrateful bitches."

"Liam!"

"I'll see you at home, whenever you bother showing up."

"Wait, I—" But he was already outside again. She felt sucker punched, checking her phone to indeed see two texts from him, informing her first that he was leaving, and then again when he had arrived, though that one had been sent closer to five minutes ago than ten.

"Well, he seems like a catch." Stef was back in cop mode – Callie could tell by the set of her shoulders. She had her back to the counter, eyes fixed on the parking lot beyond. Callie didn't know if Liam had already pulled out, and didn't want to check.

"It's my fault, I didn't see he'd texted." Her voice came out wispy, and she hated herself all over again.

"How old is he?" Stef turned back around, eyes hard.

"Why?" The question came out far more sharply than she had intended. Had Stef realized Liam had said that he would see her at _home_? The last two minutes had left her winded, and she didn't know which attack to deal with first.

"Whoa, no reason." Stef held up her hands, but her expression didn't shift. Her disapproval hurt nearly as bad as Liam's, and Callie wished they had both gone. They saw Stef's son pull up at the same time, waving eagerly. Their goodbyes were forced, and as Stef left, Callie couldn't help wondering if it would be for good.

God, she knew better than to be disrespectful to an adult, especially one who had seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say. Aside from Jude, no one had seen Liam's temper flare like that, and that Stef had to be the one to do so made her miserable. Anger was a far easier defense mechanism to bear than shame, yet she still found herself wanting to chase after them both and apologize. With the way piano boy was driving, it might even be possible. On the other hand, apologies required explanations, and she had none to offer. She stood still, staring out at the parking lot until their taillights faded completely.

Logan arrived ten minutes later to help her close, something that took place mostly in silence. He let her keep all the tips, but it didn't leave her feeling anything but exhausted.

"How was flying solo?" He asked, as he was setting the security system. "Tigger really owes you."

"Who?"

He laughed. "Our cat."

"It was… an experience." She privately hoped that stupid cat never forced her into an afternoon like this one ever again.

To her surprise, Liam's car was idling when she came outside. The rain had trickled to a mild mist, the air heavy and humid with regret. She wasn't sure if he'd been waiting for her all this time, or if he had left and come back again. One thing she was certain of was that they wouldn't be going out, and she got in beside him with stinging eyes.

He didn't look sorry, which was fine, since she wasn't either. It was stupid to blame Liam for her sort of argument with Stef, but it was easier than contemplating the real reason. Was it safer to be mad at Liam, with whom she would eventually have to make up, if only because they lived together? What did Stef have to lose in fighting with her?

Nothing. In contrast, she, Callie, had everything to lose, though the sum of their relationship was a business card, a few emails, and several lattes.

Stef had told her she deserved more, but from whom?

At home in their garage, she stopped him before they went inside, leaning across the console and twining arms around his neck. She kissed him, because it was easier than words they probably both wouldn't mean. His hands stayed in his lap, but he returned her kiss, eventually. She kissed him until Stef's eyes were no longer in her head, until all she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears, and all she could feel was the gearshift constricting her stomach. All of that was better than what had come before, she told herself. It had to be.

Author's notes: I have no idea how I feel about this chapter. Major, major thanks to Starophie and tunedtochords, for betaing and giving me invaluable feedback, respectively. Hit me with any and all constructive criticism, if you so desire.


	7. Chapter 7

Callie _did_ see Stef again. Whether out of habit, or because she truly enjoyed their coffee, Stef didn't suddenly disappear.

Still, something felt off. Their fight had been on a Thursday, and when she didn't see Stef all weekend, she started going over the afternoon in her head incessantly. How could she have been so awful? Moments before, Stef had been touching her face, telling Callie how much she mattered. And how had Callie repaid that kindness? It didn't matter that she had been afraid and rattled. Stef had been nothing but good to her, and she had lashed out, like always.

When she finally did see Stef, and all that passed between them was a quick, fleeting smile, her apprehension only deepened. The second time Stef visited without saying a word beyond thank you, Callie tried to tell herself that this new relationship would be better, would be safer, for both their sakes.

They had both made assumptions about one another. Now, Stef knew she had a crazy boyfriend, and Callie knew that Stef had a group of people who took far more precedence over Callie. They might never have...whatever they'd had before, but as long as Callie could maintain a modicum of Stef's respect, this could be enough.

She'd given up trying to understand why Stef suddenly meant so much to her. Callie now simply accepted that from the moment Stef had pulled her hand back after scaring her in that hospital hallway, her opinion had begun to matter. It had solidified into respect when she gave Callie her business card, and to adoration when she didn't completely ignore Callie's e-mails. None of this was fair to Stef, who was just trying to live her life, and finding Callie in her way whenever she turned a corner. But this was what Callie did - she got overly attached to people. All it had taken was one look from Liam that said _you are special_, and she was hooked.

Truthfully, she was not as jaded and self-protective as she liked people to think, not by a long shot. With Stef, as with Liam, she had felt seen, and she desperately wanted that feeling back; to be noticed, not for the girl that remembered your order by the third or fourth time you came in, but for just…Callie.

It was strange, wanting to be appreciated, when you didn't like seeing yourself at the exact same time. She wasn't sure exactly when those feelings of disquiet had started. Somewhere around the time that Liam had begun seeing her body, and not her face. If it weren't for Jude, she couldn't say whether she would even still be at that house some nights. But Jude kept her grounded, kept her tied down, even if it was the last thing she wanted to be.

Jude also forced her to keep moving. She did not know how to fix her own life, but his life had the possibility of being better. Whatever she could do now to make things easier for him in the long run, she would not hesitate .

Unlike her own, Jude's unhappiness was external. Some days, like the afternoon he presented her with a Judy Blume book that couldn't have possibly come from his elementary school library, she couldn't help resenting him. Did he appreciate nothing she was doing? She was working before and after school, coming home exhausted every single day, only to have to deal with his stupid impulses?

God, that wasn't fair to him. All Jude really understood was her being gone for hours on end. When she had first begun working, she had given him some of her tips as a sort of allowance, hoping having money of his own would stifle his urge to simply take. But there weren't many places he could go in their suburb, especially without friends to explore it with. In retrospect, she should have explained her intent behind the allowance, but talking about his stealing only seemed to upset him. Now, months later, here he was, holding out a book and babbling about how it was about a teenaged girl, how he had thought of her right away. Callie's attempts to protect him were, once again, making things worse.

"Whoa, slow down. Monkey, where did you get this?"

"Around." His eyes dropped away from her face, fixating on the spine of the paperback in both their hands.

"No, really, where?" She tried to catch his gaze again, and he lowered his head entirely.

"A store." His voice dropped as well, barely above a mumble. "I went to Walmart with Liam the other day. You were at work, and he was bored, so he let me come. First we went to a sporting goods place, 'cause he wanted to look at golf clubs. Then to Walmart."

"And he bought you a book about a fifteen-year old?" They both knew the answer to this question. _Please don't lie to me, Jude_ .

He kicked the side of her desk. "No. I got this for you, 'cause I thought you would like it. I should have saved it for your birthday. Maybe then you wouldn't be asking so many stupid questions."

She noticed that he had said _got_ instead of _bought_, and her heart sank. "Liam doesn't know you took this."

Jude gave the book a half-hearted tug, but she held fast. "No. He was looking at hats forever. He told me I could go around by myself, as long as I came back. I looked at clothes for a while, but people kept asking where my mom was. It made me mad."

"What kind of clothes?"

He stayed silent long enough to confirm her suspicions. "Dresses," he finally admitted, giving up on the book and turning to stare at the bare half of the room. "There were some really, really nice ones. I didn't even touch them, I promise, I just looked. But then people were giving _me_ weird looks, so I went to the book section. There weren't any mean people around there."

"It still wasn't okay to just take this. You know you're not allowed to go places and take what you want. That's why I have a job. If I tried to use my phone without paying the bill, I'd be stealing from the phone company."

"Wouldn't they just turn it off, like they used to do with our lights when we lived with mom and dad?"

She hadn't known he remembered that. "Yeah, but that's still the same thing. You didn't get caught, but it doesn't mean it's okay. Come on, we'll go take it back now." She grabbed her purse off her desk, mentally counting out that day's tips. "If we're lucky, maybe the manager will just make us pay for it and - Jude?"

He had slipped away, silent in sock clad feet, his present to her sitting splayed open on the bed. Surely, he had to know she wouldn't have been able to accept this. Jude knew what he was doing was wrong; she could see that in his phrasing. But he also appeared to do it in response to something. He had been looking at women's clothing, and people had disapproved. Did he steal when he was mad? Jude so rarely got mad, which was maybe part of the problem.

If he had waited to give her this on her birthday, which was just over two weeks away, would she have asked him questions? Probably not. Maybe he had wanted her to know. That had to count for something, right? No, she needed to stop making excuses for him. That was how they had gotten here, because she kept putting the problem out of her mind. This wasn't just stealing random food, or thinking about taking gardening tools. His problem was getting bigger, not going away, and she had no idea how to help him.

Phil and Hannah didn't like problems, especially if they had the potential to involve law enforcement. She suspected half the reason Janet was ultimately sent elsewhere was because the police had gotten involved. If Jude continued on like this, it was a matter of when, not if, he would be caught in the act. If he was lucky, he would only have to deal with an in-store security guard. But it was also possible that an actual police officer would be called. They would want to scare him, which would be easy. More importantly, it would also piss off the entire Olmstead family.

What if he was sent away? Her chest tightened at the thought, sweat prickling across her back. She couldn't be good enough for both of them; she couldn't protect him from himself. But she also couldn't stop working - they needed that money for both their futures. She only had four more years before she turned eighteen. Jude would be fourteen, and she could certainly adopt him then. But she would need money to support them both, and possibly go to college. She needed a steady, year-round job. If she kept this up, Mary Anne and Logan might let her work close to full time over the summer, which would help a lot.

All of this meant running away was out of the question, not that she had the first idea of where to take him. But what could she do? Bill might have some ideas. He had offered her therapy when he had first been assigned to her case, something she had refused upon learning that she and Jude wouldn't be seen together. Those first few weeks, the thought of even sleeping in separate rooms had been too hard to contemplate. She had been so convinced that she would wake up one morning, only to discover that Jude , too , had disappeared in the night.

Now, their situation was vastly different, but there must be therapists for this sort of thing. Having someone to talk out the things that made him stressed to the point of stealing would be helpful to Jude, but how could she make it happen? She couldn't contact Bill without Hannah and Phil finding out, and Liam had said they would not be pleased if any more attention was brought on their family. She felt trapped, and that feeling was making her panic. Some good big sister she was turning out to be.

Not knowing what else to do, she found Liam later that night. Jude had once again refused to be read to. She had told him that everything would be all right, and that they would figure this out together, but he had remained silent, motionlessly staring at the wall and flinching away from her good night kiss. At the very least, she knew Liam wouldn't reject her advances. She decided to start out with that. If he were in a good mood, maybe he would be more receptive to helping her brainstorm.

For once, she was able to break their kiss without making him upset. There was no good way to segue into this kind of conversation, so she just told him everything from start to finish, hoping for the best.

She hadn't expected laughter. "Holy shit, you foster kids are insane! What the hell did Jude want with Mrs. Matthews' gardening crap?"

"God, I don't know, but can you focus?"

"Sorry, it's just so stupid! He's gotta know his sister's loaded and wrapped around his little finger."

She pinched his arm, which launched them into a full-on tickle war. Even as she muffled her giggles in his shirt and begged for mercy, she couldn't help feeling lighter than she had in days. This was the Liam she enjoyed, who smiled and laughed with her; who was fun.

"God, this is the best shit I've heard in weeks," he gasped, once they were calming down. He ran a hand through her hair, kissed the corner of her mouth, and she couldn't resist deepening it into something more, sliding a hand into his hair and urging his mouth open. He made a low, appreciative sound at the back of his throat, and she laughed against his lips.

Nothing ended up being resolved, but she was too elated to dwell. If she could get Liam to act like this all the time, maybe they could both deal with Jude? She could get Jude to tell one of them if he were feeling overwhelmed, and they could have a list of productive things to counteract it. Liam was home a whole lot more than she was. It would be good for he and Jude to have something in common. Liam could learn that Jude was a great kid, and Jude would realize Liam wasn't always so intense.

The only thing she hadn't felt comfortable sharing with Liam was the obsession with women's clothing, a fascination of Jude's for as long as she could remember. From a very young age, he had been in love with their mother's few fancy dresses, running the silk through his fingers. When she would try them on, he would clap in delight. Hannah had a large variety of cocktail dresses, and Callie was willing to bet Jude spent a lot of his alone time in their walk-in closet. Callie herself owned very little makeup, and almost all of it had been given to her by Jude .

Did his fascination extend beyond simple admiration? If he actually wanted to try on dresses, that would be a problem. Phil was a superfan of Alex Jones - she wouldn't be surprised if was his computer's homepage. One of Phil's favorite dinner table rants went on in great detail about how the government was taking over the world, and turning people homosexual through chemical warfare. If he knew his foster daughter had been friends, however briefly, with a lesbian cop, she would be packing up her stuff that same night. And if he got wind that her younger brother liked wearing women's clothing, they wouldn't even have that luxury.

Liam didn't necessarily share his father's politics, he mostly endured them to get a beer or cocktail out of the conversation. One of the few things the Olmsteads were strict about was their son's restricted access to their liquor cabinet. Still, she didn't relish the conversation about Jude's sexuality, and it wasn't her secret to share. If Jude wasn't ready to talk about it with her yet, he certainly wouldn't take kindly to her mentioning it to Liam.

But if it was adding to whatever else was bothering him, should she force him to talk about it? No. He had never pressed her about how she knew Stef. He had a right to secrets, just like everyone else. She wished she could talk to Bill, who was constantly in motion, but who she believed truly meant well. If she could explain the situation, and underscore that their placement was going great otherwise, then maybe…

But no, he would ask why Hannah or Phil hadn't brought this to his attention, and Callie had no good answer to that. If she told Hannah, would she think to call Bill? Callie tried to remember overhearing any conversations with Janet's social worker, or to Janet herself, about treatment options. The only "treatment' Janet ever got was an ever increasing list of meds. Would they medicate Jude for stealing? Janet had flitted from diagnosis to diagnosis faster than Callie channel-surfed. When she was on her medication, she was constantly sleeping or docile. Callie suspected she often stopped taking them cold turkey, which would just restart the cycle.

She would not allow Jude to go through any of that. If he got put on medication, she would be at the appointment with him, so she could understand the side effects and why they thought it would help, but she desperately hoped it didn't come to any of that.

It all came back to talking with Hannah. Before last week, she might have considered bringing this up with Stef, who would have been able to remain objective. Obviously, that was no longer an option. Instead, they would find a time when Hannah was alone in the house, and go from there. Ideally, Jude would lead the conversation, Callie could just be there for moral support. If she could coach Jude before this, get him comfortable with the idea of telling people when he was upset, maybe he wouldn't feel quite so out of control. Her Wednesday evening shift nearly over, she resolved to bring up the idea the moment she got home.

Ten minutes before closing, Stef wandered in - speak of the devil. She was in her uniform, but Hernandez was nowhere in sight. Now that she had a solution to the Jude problem, Callie was inspired. Conscious of Taylor beside her, she scribbled on the bottom of Stef's latte.

_Sorry for the other day. Blame it on tweens?_

_CJ_

She didn't get to see Stef noticing the message, but half an hour later, while counting out tips, Taylor found a cryptic note amongst them. _Nothing to be sorry for. You remember what I said_.

"The hell do you think that's supposed to mean? Oh god, you're not keeping that, are you?"

She shrugged, trying not to smile, and continued cleaning the espresso machine. A lot had been said that afternoon. Was she supposed to remember that she deserved good things, and the look in Stef's eyes when she had said so? She stilled, feeling phantom fingers on her skin, and sighed. She had possibly made their relationship just as complicated as before, but it felt good to dispel some of the awkwardness. With Stef's note giving her newfound confidence, she went home to Jude.

Seeing fear in her baby brother's eyes would never not chill her. This time, knowing she was the one to put it there, made her feel sick. "It'll help," she repeated for the third time.

"I'm sorry I took the book. I'm sorry! I'll go with you to bring it back."

"Buddy, it's not about the book. It's…this has been going on for a long time, and I should have helped you figure it out sooner. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"No!" It came out high and strangled. "I'll stop, I will. Just please, I don't want anyone else to know. Please, Callie. Please." He might have begged more, but he was sobbing too hard for words. He fought her embrace at first, but eventually clung to her, his hot, frantic breaths blasting against her neck.

"Okay, okay. We'll figure something else out. Shhh, it's all right. It'll be all right."

But it wasn't all right. Liam, who had at first found the whole situation hilarious, now blamed every lost item on Jude. Inevitably, they were all recovered, and Jude was growing more confused by the day. "Why would I take his stuff? I never even go in his room."

When she confronted him about it, Liam would just shrug. "You never know. The minute I don't ask him will be the time he took something." They both knew this wasn't true, and she couldn't tell who his behavior was meant to get more of a rise out of.

The idea that Liam would deliberately slip up and reveal to Jude that she had broken his confidence tore at her. It had been nearly a week since telling Liam, too long to confess the crime to Jude. If she told him now, he would panic all over again. But if she waited, he would be even more angry. As with everything else, she was stuck.

"You look like shit," Taylor told her that Saturday morning.

"Honestly, I feel like it." She was too drained to argue with her, good-naturedly or otherwise.

"Make yourself one of those coconut things. Wait, never mind, your anti-coffee friend's coming this way."

Stef and Lena came in, a younger girl with them. There was a brief argument, when - wait, was this their daughter? Whoever this was, she was certainly not biological - wanted a blended coffee drink and both adults refused. The possible daughter ordered a smoothie, looking incredibly put out. Callie shot her a sympathetic smile.

"Hey, no fraternizing with my baby. That one's a coffee drinker," Stef stage-whispered to Lena.

"Oh, they lose their innocence so young."

This was clearly a tactic to get smoothie girl to smile, something she was trying her best not to do. Callie felt some of the tension bleeding out of her, even though none of this was meant for her benefit.

"Don't look so stressed, CJ."

On the other hand, maybe some of it was. Stef lingered behind Lena and their maybe-daughter, even though she could have just as easily gone with them to a table and come back for their drinks.

Finishing up with Lena's chai, Callie tried out a smile. Taylor didn't bother hiding her wince, and Stef laughed outright. "Okay, don't look like that, either."

Her exhaustion was quickly giving way to far more distracting waves of confusion. Was their fight over, just like that? Stef hadn't attempted conversation in over a week, and now she was talking to her like normal? Granted, Callie hadn't broken out of her barista persona until writing that note. Could Stef have been waiting for her to make the first stab at conversation?

Whatever it was, the shift got significantly easier to get through. During a lull, Callie made herself the same smoothie Stef and Lena's daughter had ordered, quickly determining it had nothing on caffeine.

She came home to an empty house. All three cars were gone, and Jude was nowhere to be seen. Had Liam finally done what she'd been hinting at, and taken him out somewhere? In her exhausted haze to get ready for work, she'd forgotten her phone on the charger. When she went to get it to ask what they were up to, it wasn't there. Had it fallen behind her desk? She gave the area a half-hearted glance, only finding a series of paperclips and several old homework assignments. Okay, so her phone didn't appear to be anywhere in her room, but she simply didn't have the energy to be overly concerned. Jude was having fun, and that was all that mattered. Liam would hold this over her head for days, but she'd make it up to him later...somehow. He'd probably want to take off her shirt. Ugh, she'd have to think of something else…

Sprawling across her bed, she only intended to stay there for a few minutes. The next thing she knew, she was waking up four hours later, her arm completely numb from where she'd fallen asleep on top of it.

There were faint noises from downstairs, but Jude's voice wasn't among them. He would have come up to tell her about their day, wouldn't he? She crawled off her bed, trying to wake herself up fully. It was around 4:30, so they could still be out.

"You up here, monkey?" She meant to sound playful, but the question came out slow and sleepy. When was the last time she'd passed out like that, and on a Saturday, no less? She must have been more exhausted than she'd realized. Her name tag from work was still clipped to her shirt, and she stuck it in her purse, double checking that her phone hadn't been there all along. Nope, still no sign of it. As she splashed cold water on her face, she tried to imagine Taylor going a whole day without her fancy smartphone. Nope, would never happen.

Changing into more casual clothes, she then wandered into Jude's room, looking for clues. His jacket was gone, but nothing else looked out of place. Her brother was crazy neat, making her own slightly disorganized desk look like a nightmare in comparison. When he had asked what she wanted for her birthday, she had seriously told him to reorganize her room..

Cocking her head, she tried to figure out who had come home. At least two feminine voices echoed up to her, which meant Hannah had company. Maybe she would know where Liam had taken Jude for the day. If it was close enough, Callie could go and surprise them. Huh, that was weird. _Double Fudge _(the last book in the series), which they were about a fourth of the way through, was missing. Whatever paperback they were reading always sat on the corner of his desk, their page marked with the same cat shaped bookmark that had come from god knows where. He wouldn't read ahead without her, would he? This was the only Fudge book she had never read, and even though it had clearly been written years after the rest, she still liked it. More importantly, they had read the entire series together thus far.

She found Hannah in the kitchen with one of her friends. They were sitting at the table with cups of coffee, studying some sort of paperwork. "Oh, Callie , you remember Evelyn? She works with me at the foundation."

Honestly, Hannah's friends all looked alike to her. Or maybe it was that they always gave Callie that same, slightly pitying look. Sure, Hannah never introduced Callie as her foster daughter, but she didn't have to. Comments like 'her difficult life' or 'she's been doing so well, since…' were never far beyond her introduction. If she'd known Evelyn was here, she might have left on her work clothes. They were just a nicer shirt and khakis, but they gave off a better impression than jeans. Well, maybe not when she'd slept in them all afternoon.

Her and Evelyn exchanged stupid small talk for a few moments. Both women seemed pleasant enough, but it wasn't like Callie to interrupt…whatever they were doing.

"Do you have work tonight?" Hannah finally interjected. "She got herself a job down at that coffee shop near the library, isn't that great? I don't think I've ever had such an ambitious one before!"

God, it sounded like Callie was a show dog. "No, I worked this morning. Um, do you know where Liam went?"

Hannah laughed her public places laugh, shrill and short. "I never know where that boy is."

"Well, I was just wondering where he took Jude."

Hannah's smile turned to genuine confusion. "Jude? Liam left by himself around the same time I did. I was going to my luncheon, and he said he wouldn't be back until after dinner."

She might have continued speaking, if Callie hadn't grabbed the back of her chair for support. "Wait, Liam left? Alone?"

"Yes. Pulled out just ahead of me."

"But…I got home at 1:00, and Jude wasn't here."

Hannah's smile was back in place, but Callie could recognize the subtle signs of irritation. "Don't look so alarmed, Callie. He's ten, not two. Certainly old enough to ride that bike of his around the neighborhood."

God, but they all just loved bringing up that stupid bike. It had been an old one of Liam's that he'd outgrown fairly quickly, so they hadn't lost any money over giving it to Jude. He seemed to enjoy it, often riding it to and from school, but it wasn't his most prized possession. And he certainly wouldn't have gone on a four-hour ride.

"I've been home all afternoon, and he hasn't come back." She sounded needy even to herself, and she forced herself to stop and breathe. It wouldn't do to panic in front of Evelyn.

"Well, is he at a friend's house? It's good for him to get out, he's always hanging around here."

_He doesn't have any friends_, she wanted to snap, but stopped herself just in time. "Don't you think he would have told someone? He has my cell number, he would have…oh, god." Suddenly, her missing phone made an awful sort of sense. "My phone. I left it when I went to work, and now I can't find it."

"My grandson takes my phone all the time," Evelyn laughed, sounding completely out of her element.

"Can you call it? I bet he has it."

"All right. But Callie, you're completely overreacting." She rarely asked Hannah for things directly, so they both knew how serious she was being. Hannah left to retrieve her purse, and Callie was half a second from pacing.

"Sit down, dear. It's all going to be fine." Evelyn pulled out a chair for her, sliding a plate of finger foods across the table. "Have a sandwich." God, she felt like she was in some outdated tea party from…some previous century.

"I don't seem to have your number in here." Hannah came back into the room, still looking through her contacts. Callie tried not to let the surprise show on her face. Hannah would call Liam the moment he broke curfew, so she had thought it was a requirement that both Hannah and Phil have the ability to contact her at all times. The year before, when Callie had convinced the Olmsteads to co-sign the plan with her, she had promised her phone would always be turned on and that she'd never ignore their calls - something that Liam did with increasing regularity. She had assumed that was what had ultimately made them agree . The next day, Hannah had instructed Liam to help her pick out a phone, under the stipulation that the money were to only come from Callie's first paycheck.

In that time, she hadn't received a call from either of them, though both their numbers were among the first she'd put in her contacts. She'd always thought that was because she was predictable, never staying out late, and always coming home when she said she would be there . Could Hannah really never have bothered putting Callie in her contacts? Regardless, she didn't have time to dwell on that now. Until this very second, she had never seen a reason to know her own number off the top of her head.

"Well, it's in Phil's phone, right?"

"Of course, I'm sure he wrote it down somewhere, but we're not going to bother him with this until he's home. He and Fred were only going to do nine holes, so they'll be back soon."

Fred was Evelyn's husband, who Callie knew even less about than his wife. "Okay," she said, because it would only make things worse for her if she argued.

"I bet Jude will beat them back." Hannah put her hand over Callie's for a brief moment, the longest physical contact they'd had in a good six months. The last time she could remember Hannah touching her at all was the night her wrist had been hurt, and even then it had been cursory.

She excused herself before the panic could fully overtake her . "Goodness, that one's a handful," Evelyn's distinct voice echoed to her on the stairs, followed by that shrill laugh of Hannah's. Jude did the best impression of that laugh…

She stood perfectly still, until her eyes stopped burning and her nose no longer tingled, but being motionless only made her heartbeat increase. "Where are you, monkey? "

author's notes : Apologies for the long wait, it's been a crazy week and a half. As usual, major thanks to starophie for a super quick, and excellent betaing..


	8. Chapter 8

Author's notes: Just as a warning, this chapter is a little more graphic. We're still in the PG-13 range, but if you don't want to read anything with questionable consent, maybe skip the last scene.

_XXX_

_Stef,_

_My little brother is missing. He's only been gone a few hours, but I have no idea where he would go…_

_Stef,_

_I don't know where Jude is. It's not like him to just leave, and he has my phone, but I stupidly didn't memorize the number…_

_I'm so scared, Stef. My brother is missing, and no one will help me find him. He has my phone and he took our book, which he wouldn't normally ever read without me. I don't know what that means. I don't know what he's planning to do, or if he even knows what he's planning to do. I don't know if I'm even allowed to send you this, because we might not be friends anymore. I know that's my fault, too, but you and Lena are the only people who come close to caring about Jude like I do. Please, tell me what to do…_

She wrote several more variations of the same thing, erasing them each halfway through as she sat on Liam's bed, biting her lip so her tears would stay silent. She had no right to contact Stef with her problems. Yes, Stef was a cop, but she wasn't working today.

And what if she were? What then? Callie really wasn't sure. She just desperately wanted someone to see her words, and to tell her that she wasn't overreacting. She needed to know that she wasn't crazy for freaking out, or, if she were, that it was all right, and they would find him. That she wasn't alone in dealing with this.

Before coming into Liam's room, she had gone out to the garage. Jude's bike was still there, and she couldn't decide if that was better or worse. Mrs. Matthews wasn't in her yard across the street, but she had answered her door. She hadn't seen Jude leave that morning, but he had come over in the last few days, saying he liked her garden. She called him a 'thoughtful boy,' and promised to call the Olmsteads if she saw him.

Mrs. Matthews was their only neighbor that Callie could think of who was outside on a regular basis. If there were children in the neighborhood that Jude played with, he hadn't mentioned them. Not knowing what else to do, she had gone upstairs and logged onto the computer. Two weeks ago, sitting in Liam's room had been frightening, but now, the idea that he might come home meant nothing to her. Her baby brother was gone, and no one seemed to care.

She was about to start another unsent message to Stef when the garage opened. It took every bit of willpower for her to log out of her email and put the computer back where she had found it. She didn't erase her history, but screw that. If Liam bitched about it, she would tell him to go to hell.

Phil and Fred were just coming in as she came down stairs. Hannah and Evelyn had switched from coffee to wine, and were sitting in the living room. Callie made herself a normal-sized peanut butter sandwich while the couples greeted one another, waiting for someone to mention Jude. Both men said hello to her, but five minutes later, Jude's name hadn't come up.

"He's still not back." She was talking too loudly, and had cut Fred off mid-sentence. Everyone turned to stare at her. Phil was at the counter, making he and Fred some sort of cocktail, and he raised his eyebrow in silent rebuke. "Jude's not home yet," she said pointedly to Hannah, who had the nerve to look disgruntled.

"Well, it's about time that boy got out of the house." Phil handed Fred his drink, before taking a long pull from his own glass.

"He's been gone all afternoon, and he took my phone."

"Teenagers and their phones," Fred laughed, sitting down beside his wife. "I'm glad ours grew up before all that."

"You don't know the half of it." Hannah swirled the wine in her glass, refusing to make eye contact with Callie.

Defeated, she appealed to Phil. "You have my cell number, right? I looked for it in my paperwork that came with the phone, but I can't find it anywhere." She had tried calling Liam on their landline, but it had gone straight to voicemail. Of course it would, he probably thought it was one of his parents. Her eyes burned with fresh tears, and Phil blanched.

"Of course, I'm sure it's in my study. I'll get it in a few minutes, if he's not home by then. Hannah, did you remember to thaw the extra steaks?"

"Yes," she jumped up to get them, while Phil went outside to fiddle with their seldom used grill. Once again, the conversation was effectively over. Having nothing else to do, Callie picked up their cordless phone – this was used even less than the grill – and went upstairs.

6:00 came and went. Hannah called up to her asking if she wanted any dinner. Any other night, Callie might have appreciated being included in their sort of dinner party, but her stomach was churning with just the peanut butter sandwich. She tried calling Liam again, and unsurprisingly got no answer. This time she left a breathless message that she wasn't sure he would be able to understand, if he even bothered to check his voicemail.

The longer she stayed upstairs, the more angry she became. Laughter echoed up to her along with the smell of cooking meat, and the idea that the four of them were sitting down there having fun made her want to scream. Anger would get her nothing, she knew, but it was so, so much easier to feel than fear.

She switched to writing shorthand pleas for help in her history notebook, not addressing them to anyone in particular. They might have been for God, or maybe her mother. Finally, at nearly seven, she went back downstairs. Hannah and Evelyn were doing dishes, and she nearly collided with Phil on his way back in from cleaning the grill.

"Hey, we saved you some food. Oh, come on now, Callie. Let's not get upset." She could not answer, she was crying so hard. "Here, come with me – we'll find that number." He plucked a box of tissues from an end table, shoving them into her hands. Apparently, Phil did not do well with crying females.

He found the number in less than two minutes, which was better than Hannah's attempt. She could dwell on the fact she didn't rank high enough to be in _either_ of her foster parents' phones later, once Jude was home safe.

"Thank you," she told Phil breathlessly. "I'm sorry I bothered you." She was not sorry, but given how alike father and son were, Phil would like to hear that she was.

"That's all right. I know you and your brother are close, but you need to let him grow up a little." He squeezed her shoulder awkwardly, ushering her back into the hallway. "You keep those," he directed, as she made to return the tissues to their usual spot. What, was the whole box damaged now that several had been cried into? Balancing the scrap of paper on the box, she pulled the cordless phone from her jeans, dialing as she walked back toward the stairs.

It went to voicemail, but at least her phone was still on. It was jarring, hearing her own prerecorded voice in her ear. "Jude, it's me. Please, please call me. I'm not mad, I just want to know where you are, okay? I love you, and I just want you to come back safely. Call me right now. The number's under Olmstead – uh, I guess that's obvious. Just…call me back. I love you."

She hung up and simply stared at the phone. A minute passed. Then two. She shredded a tissue for something to do. If her clock weren't digital, she would be counting down the seconds. She thought about calling Jude a second time, but would that scare him? She didn't want him to think she was angry with him, even though a part of her was livid.

Finally, five minutes after she'd placed the call, the phone rang. Their landline was used so infrequently, she doubted Hannah would even think to answer it, but she couldn't help a strange sort of trepidation as she clicked on the cordless. "Olmstead residence." She doubted she was remotely recognizable, her voice was so distorted with tears.

"Hi, is Callie there?"

"Mary Anne?"

"Callie, that you, hon?"

"Yeah. Uh, what's up?" There was absolutely no reason for her boss to be calling her, especially considering it was after close.

"I seem to have your brother with me."

She nearly fell, she jumped off her bed so fast. "What! You do? Is he alright?"

"Yeah, he's fine. He's been here at the Hut all afternoon. Wouldn't tell me his name, just bought a few cookies, read a book, and looked sad at half the customers who came in. When I asked, he said he was looking for Taylor."

"Taylor, but why…"

"Beats me. She got off when you did, but when he was still here at closing, I called her. She came down, says he's your little brother. She's with him now. I tried your phone, but he seems to have brought that with him."

She was trying to put on her tennis shoes without letting go of the phone or untying the laces. "I'll, I'll be right there. Oh god, I can't believe he was there this whole time, I've been so worried."

"Slow down, CJ, take your time. He doesn't know I'm talking to you. Taylor was mentioning getting him something to eat, I don't know if he's had anything except snickerdoodles all day."

"God, she doesn't have to do that."

"Hold on, I'll let her talk to you. I think it's probably for the best that we don't let him in on the fact I called you."

The last thing Callie wanted was to talk to Taylor while she was still crying and trying to leave the house, but she didn't have a choice. She was stuck here until she hung up, and it wouldn't do any of them any good if she didn't know where to pick Jude up from. "Okay – I mean, yes, you're right." She needed to remember that this was her boss she was talking to. Waiting until the phone was set down, Callie allowed herself one long exhale, which sounded dangerously like a sob.

"CJ?" Until today, Callie didn't think Taylor capable of talking in a tone that wasn't either perky or superior.

"Hey, Tay, thank you for coming down." In all the time they had worked together, Callie had never once called her 'Tay.'

"It's not a problem, I was just watching _Titanic_ – but that's not important. Look, Jude seems upset, and I don't think he's had a meal all day. We're just going to take him over to the KFC a couple blocks down. You know the one I mean, right?"

"Yeah, sure." In reality, she had no idea where the KFC was, but compared to Jude, finding that would be easy. Rubbing a sleeve across her eyes, she tried to pull herself together. It wouldn't do anyone any good if she left the house a hiccuping, snot-streaked mess.

"Okay. So we're just gonna go over there, and I'll get him some food. He's fine, all right? I promise, Callie." Great, Taylor had noticed she was crying. "Do we need to look out for a certain car?"

"A…car?"

"You know, your parents? I figured they'd be the ones coming over."

"Um, no, it's just me."

"Oh god, are they like, busy talking with the police?"

"The pol – oh, no, we didn't call them. Look, I'll just…I'll see you as soon as I can, okay?" They disconnected, and Callie looked at herself in the mirror for a brief moment, winced, and ran down the stairs. Dropping the cordless on the closest surface, she glanced in at the four adults, who were completely absorbed in their conversation, and laughing so loudly that she hadn't even been noticed.

"I'm going out," she called, not waiting to see if that got any reaction. Hell, what was one more missing kid? They didn't seem concerned over the first.

XXX

The initial glimpse she got of jude was as he was putting a bite of chicken nugget into his mouth. She saw Taylor first, sitting so that Jude's view of the door was almost entirely obscured. She was beside him in a booth, an older woman across from them. Somehow, she hadn't figured Taylor's mother into this equation, and Callie suddenly became even more conscious of her frazzled appearance.

"Hey, CJ." Jude seemed to realize she was there just before Taylor spoke. Callie watched the emotions flash across his face, relieved that his initial reaction had been almost a smile. In the end, he looked ready to crawl under the table, but he stayed put, silently eating his french fries.

"Hi." Callie slid into the booth beside Taylor's mom, desperately hoping they hadn't been previously introduced. The awkwardness was further compounded when both Taylor and her mother sent her pitying smiles. Jude point-blank refused to look at her, even when she reached across and stole a fry out of his box.

"Are Phil and Hannah here?" He asked this more of his chicken than Callie, but at least it was an acknowledgement.

"No. I don't think they even know I left." She really shouldn't have included that last bit, she realized belatedly, as Taylor and her mom exchanged glances. She was just so overwhelmed. The last twenty minutes had been a complete roller coaster of emotion, and Jude's plan of taking refuge under the table really didn't seem so bad.

"We can leave you guys to eat, if you'd like." It was only now, as Taylor's mom spoke, that Callie realized Jude was the only one with food, though both of them had sodas.

"I can pay you back…" But even as she said it, she realized she didn't have her wallet.

"No, don't worry about it." Taylor answered for both of them, standing up and stepping out of the booth. Callie stood as well, so that her mom could follow.

"Thank you again, so much. Tay, I… covering your next shift can't even begin to make up for this."

"C'mon, CJ. Aside from Mary Anne and boss man, you know we're basically it. You couldn't work for me, even if you wanted to." This was as close to a compliment as she was ever going to get from Taylor, and on any other night, like so many things, she would have appreciated it.

"Do you guys need a ride home?" Callie looked to Jude, who just shrugged. "Well, if you're not planning to eat here, no sense in you walking when it's this late. Callie, did you want to get some food to go?" Taylor's mom stumbled over her name, not seeming to know which she preferred, which was fine. Some days, she didn't know herself.

"I'm alright, I can eat at home." She stole the last of Jude's fries as she talked, and when he neither objected or cracked a smile, fresh apprehension began to take hold. He hadn't been this shut down with her since…well, maybe ever. Even when everything was falling apart, she and Jude knew how to reach each other. It had been the only thing to keep her going in the days before Liam, and to a lessor extent her job, knowing Jude understood where she was coming from. It was a huge reason why she strove to get the best for him, because of the relief he brought to her life.

Clearly, she had failed him spectacularly this week. But he was still here, and even if he was currently ignoring her, the fact he was right in front of her was enough. He was unhurt and alive, and for the moment, that was all that mattered.

"Jude, do you have my phone?" she asked as they were preparing to leave. A silent nod. "Can I have it back?"

"Phil and Hannah were the only people to call."

"I know, that was me. Why did you take it?" Taylor and her mom were unabashedly listening, but she didn't care.

A shrug. "Thought it would be useful. You didn't bring it to work, so I didn't know if you'd miss it for a while."

That was fair, and any other day, he might have been right. God, she didn't know what to say to anyone. He dug her cell out of his bulging backpack. Their fingers brushed as she took it, and she wanted to pull him close and never let go. "I was so worried, Jude. Please, never do this again."

He looked down at the pavement. They were several paces behind the other two by now, and she stopped walking entirely, hoping he would finally give her some sort of explanation. Instead he just kept moving, forcing her to jog to catch up. "I won't," he finally mumbled, as they were clambering into the backseat. He was more resigned than happy, but at least he had said it.

The car was quiet as they drove. Taylor took a stab at conversation, but quickly gave it up. In the backseat, she and Jude were less than a foot apart, but it still somehow felt like he was miles away. She had found him physically, but emotionally, he had never been so out of reach.

Liam was pulling into the garage as they reached the house. Everyone said hasty, relieved goodbyes, and Callie and Jude were out of the car before Liam had time to close the door behind himself. He did a double take when he saw them, which Callie nearly missed because she was giving Taylor one last wave.

"Ah, you guys have a good night?" It wasn't usual for her to go out, let alone take Jude along.

"No," Jude said bluntly. He walked to the house without waiting for the other two.

"God, Callie, you look terrible." Liam stepped over to her, tilting her face. Half an hour ago, this remotely sympathetic reaction would have made her fall apart with gratitude, but now she just sighed, stepping in for a hug. He smelled like smoke and beer, but he didn't push her away.

"I'm pretty sure this was the second worst day of my life. Oh, and I think your parents are drunk."

Liam determined the only solution was midnight milkshakes, so she gladly went along with him to drive Evelyn and Fred home. She had tried talking to Jude several times throughout the evening. He ignored her first attempt completely, once again refusing to look at her. The second time, he was already asleep on top of his bedspread. She had covered him with a blanket and silently unpacked his backpack. The only thing he had put away himself was the Fudge novel, bookmark exactly where she had left it the night before.

Now, she and Liam idled in the McDonald's parking lot, drinking some of the very few items Liam had actually paid for her in the history of their entire relationship. "Sticky Fingers is getting crazier by the week, I swear."

"Don't call him that!"

"Yeah, guess it doesn't really apply to today. Even though he did take your phone. What if I had tried to text you?"

"_I _tried to call _you_."

"Right, like I ever take calls from my parents. Hell, I don't think I even have the password to my voicemail."

"You're missing the point," she sighed. "We should have gotten french fries."

"Want me to go back?"

"Nah." He drove to the drive-thru anyway, and she tossed him a five. Taking the hint, he got the large size and a coke for himself. How he could drink soda directly after eating ice cream amazed her, but she tucked into the terrible excuse for dinner regardless.

"I can't believe Jude tried to run away."

"He didn't get very far. If you had been working, he wouldn't have gone there."

This was not remotely reassuring. The idea of Jude wandering aimlessly made her want to cry all over again, and Liam seemed to realized this halfway through speaking. "He knows when I work. He's not stupid."

"Could have fooled me. Kid barely says two words and is always failing shit." He felt bad, she could see that in his face. But Liam reacted to embarrassment defensively, and he clearly couldn't stop himself.

"_Math_. He has a hard time with _math. _He does fine with everything else."

"Okay, jeez, calm down." He stuffed several of her fries in his mouth, ignoring her pointedly raised eyebrow. "You gotta figure out why the hell he left. If that got back to my parents, they'd freak."

"Yeah, 'cause they were so worried earlier."

"You're lucky they weren't," he said seriously. "Last time a kid ran, I never saw her again. They called the cops and her social worker. When she finally turned up, she accused me of all kinds of crazy shit. Obviously, my parents refused to have anything to do with her or that agency after that."

Somehow, this surprised her. Phil and Hannah were more concerned with each other than any of their kids, but Callie would never consider them to be abusive.

Sure, Hannah in particular thought of she and Jude as fancy accessories, but she had never gone hungry, or been yelled at. It was sort of like living with roommates, which was just fine with her. Maybe Jude missed being parented, but Callie thought she had done a pretty good job as a stand-in. The entire family had humored Jude's belief in Santa last December – a belief that was quickly dashed Christmas morning when his only presents were small things from her and a few clothes from Phil and Hannah. Still, this was by far the best placement they had ever had, made even better by Liam.

"That girl must have been crazy. She would have to be, if she wanted to leave your family."

"You wanted to leave," he pointed out, stone-faced.

"That was…that was different. It was for Jude, and…for you and me."

"Still. Just remember how good you have it the next time something like today happens – and you know there will be a next time. A blind guy could see that your brother's getting worse, so you'd just better hope you can get a handle on him."

She shivered, no longer hungry. She wanted to ask for Liam's help, but his face told her she would be laughed at. Whatever good feelings he had for her did not extend to Jude, and she knew, for certain, that this would never change. For better or worse, she was on her own.

"C'mon, let's go somewhere a little more comfortable. I feel like I haven't gotten to see you all week." He drove them home, oblivious. As they lay in his bed twenty minutes later, as physically close as two people could be without being on top of one another, she found herself feeling more alone than the rest of the day combined. Tears snaked down her temples and into her hair, but if Liam noticed, he didn't react, peppering kisses down her neck, a hand sliding into her bra. She thought about protesting, but couldn't find the energy after everything else, which he seemed to sense. He urged her upwards, and she allowed him to remove first her t-shirt, and then his own.

He fiddled with the clasp of her bra, but quickly gave up when it became clear she would give him no help, settling with pushing it down her shoulders, before urging her back down and crawling on top of her. "Where are you?" he mumbled into her neck. She didn't reply, feeling nothing as he trailed his mouth down her chest, erection hard against her thigh. Normally his arousal both intrigued and horrified her, depending on their current activities, but tonight she felt nothing but detached, almost like she was watching someone else be kissed.

"You'll like this eventually," he sighed, rolling off her. "God, you smell good." She imagined she smelled like sweat and coffee, but she didn't contradict him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He looked more satisfied than frustrated, which surprised her. "Not fun if you're not into it. Can't say I've ever had this reaction the first time I've gotten a girl's shirt off before, but what're ya gonna do?"

She rolled over, twining arms around his shoulders. Whether it was finally registering the feel of their bare chests meeting, or the strength of his embrace, she relaxed, relieved as some of that cold, detached feeling began to bleed away.

"I wish it could be like this always," she sighed, nuzzling his shoulder.

"Middle schoolers," he scoffed, but there was no malice behind the insult.

"You ruin everything." She kissed his cheek, the first kiss she had truly offered all night.

"I know, it's part of my charm." He turned, catching the side of her mouth in a much firmer kiss. This time, she responded. "Much better." She felt him smile, wondered why it didn't make her feel pleased. He took this conversation as permission to continue their previous activities, and she was disturbed to once again feel herself drifting away as his body molded into hers.

Later, eventually back in her own bed, she wrote another mental letter, thanking God, or her mother – hell, maybe even Stef – for helping get them all through the day. She had never considered herself religious, and the idea of her mother keeping an eye on her sat far better with her than a god she couldn't even begin to picture.

_Help me know what to do, mom. I don't know if I want to shake Jude or never let him out of my sight._ Even as she thought this, she held herself back from checking on him – something she had already done twice since coming home. She desperately hoped her mother hadn't been watching her with Liam. At least, not what they had been doing in his room. She might forgive Callie for losing track of Jude, but Callie knew, dead or alive, her mother never would have understood the appeal of a secret boyfriend.

She wished her silent, one-sided conversation made her feel absolved enough to sleep, but it took her at least another hour to eventually drop off.

Author's notes: Whoo, thanks for sticking with me through that. We all know how the Callie/Liam relationship ends (in case I haven't been clear enough, that won't be changing with this AU). From this point on, their scenes are only going to get more intense. I want everyone to know exactly what we're getting into, so I'll continue to post warnings when appropriate.

As usual, huge, huge thanks to Starophie and tunedtochords for betaing. They keep me from going off the deep end, such as writing a scene where Callie smacks Hannah upside the head. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, but we're getting into the home stretch of the semester, so no promises.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: Surprise early update for you guys, since i'll be out of town on Wednesday.

"XXX

Wake up."

"Nnngh, s'Sunday." He shrugged off her hand. In response, she yanked the covers off him completely. "God, what are you doing?" Eyes still closed, he flung a hand out in search of warmth.

"I have to go to work. Since you like the cafe so much, you're coming with me."

"No." He was physically tugging at the blankets now.

"I wasn't asking, Jude."

He opened one eye. "_You_ can't tell _me_ what to do."

"Oh, can't I? No one else seems to give a crap that you disappeared for a whole day. Well, I do. I can't ground you, so I'm just not letting you out of my sight."

"You're being stupid." Surly Jude was not something either of them were used to. She reminded herself that no matter how he might be acting, he had taken the time to unpack their book. Even now, as he was still cursing her name under his breath, he was sitting up, giving her an expectant glare to leave so he could change.

Ten minutes later, he met her at the front door. It wasn't a happy walk to work, but his comfort level wasn't a priority. "I'll make you a sandwich," was all she offered by way of reconciliation as they walked in the back.

Logan was already there, along with a new cashier whose name she had yet to remember. If either knew what had taken place the day before, they didn't say anything. The urge to apologize and explain herself to Logan was strong, but he just waved at Jude as though he had always come in with her on the weekends. She made Logan a mocha without being asked, refusing any attempts at payment.

Jude curled into his usual chair. Logan paused to talk to him before he left, confirming Callie's suspicions that he must have some idea of what was going on. Had they met the day before? It was possible. She had been glad that she wouldn't have to see either Taylor or Mary Anne this morning, but that relief had proved to be short lived. Logan wasn't saying anything to her directly, but she didn't know how she felt about him talking to Jude. What could he have to say to a ten year old?

_You're being crazy_, she told herself. _You didn't care that Jude spent an hour with Lena the other week_. Hell, for all she knew, Logan was telling Jude to stop being angry with her. Logan didn't realize that Jude had inherited the Jacob stubborn streak.

She and Jude rarely fought, but when Jude put his mind to it, he could hold a grudge with the best of them. She rarely allowed herself to be angry with him in turn, because it would solve nothing. If one of them didn't take steps to end their fights, they might never be over. This morning was more about fear than anything else; Jude needed to know that he had terrified her to the point that she had barely slept the night before. How could he have thought leaving would solve anything? What had she done to indicate that this was ever an option?

She couldn't think about this now. She was losing concentration barely five drinks into her shift, and Josh, her new coworker, was slow enough for the both of them. She couldn't afford to think about how to deal with Jude until they were both back home, but she couldn't help cutting one last glance at him. His face was hidden by a book, but she couldn't tell if it was school or pleasure reading. It didn't matter. The fact she had gotten him up before 8AM was punishment enough.

Lena showed up alone around 9, out of breath and in jogging clothes. It was slow enough that Callie was able to look over in time to see Jude noticing her. His entire posture changed. His book disappeared, and he looked ready to jump off his chair to greet her. She had known he had been fond of Lena, but not to this extent. Callie couldn't help wondering if this was similar to how she looked when she saw Stef. Granted, Callie saw Stef almost daily, but had she ever looked that unguarded, that blatantly hopeful? Was Jude's life lacking for so much, that he was excited to see someone he barely knew?

God, of course it was, yesterday had proved that. She tore her eyes away from Jude and back to the espresso machine. It would not do to start crying in front of Josh, a handful of customers, and her brother's newest favorite person. "You want some water?" she asked Lena, who was next up in line, and having trouble catching her breath.

Lena nodded, giving her a rueful grin. "Can't believe I beat Stef here."

"Oh, Stef's coming?" She felt the immediate change in her own posture, shoulders lifting, eyes eagerly scanning the sidewalk. Hell, she was just as bad, if not worse than Jude. Lena didn't need to reply, because Stef breezed through the doors just then, sweaty and smiling.

"Well, it's about time you showed up." Lena fended off Stef's attempt to hug her hello, even though they were equally sweaty. It was fortunate that no one was in line behind them, because Callie was too transfixed to begin to tell them to hurry it up. Phil and Hannah never acted like this, like they were genuinely happy to see one another.

"Hmph. If you're so full of yourself, you buy my drink, woman." Lena smacked Stef's arm, and they both laughed, Stef smiling at Callie, including her in the joke, making the fact she had been blatantly staring a little bit less awkward. "Goodness, CJ, are you ever not here?"

Now Stef was smiling just for her, and Callie couldn't have stopped her own grin from widening if she tried. "Nope, doesn't feel like it." This ten second conversation was doing wonders for her tension.

"Go get us the couch, I think Callie knows our orders by now."

"Put an extra shot in mine," Lena called over her shoulder. The idea of drinking coffee after running made Callie want to wince, and she got them glasses of water without being asked. As Stef was paying, Callie reflexively glanced toward Jude's corner, only to find him gone.

Shit, how could she have been _so_ stupid? Had she forgotten the reason he had been forced into coming with her in the first place? Had Jude been waiting for just this sort of opportunity to slip away? Where would he have gone now, and could she leave Josh long enough to-

"Hey." Warm fingers touched the back of her hand, and she jerked it back in surprise. "Your shadow's over there, sweets." Stef pointed, and Callie turned to indeed find Jude practically cuddling into Lena's side on the couch, huddled over some sort of homework. "Kid curse, remember?" Callie turned back to Stef, hoping her fear wasn't written all over her face.

"Right, sorry. I just…he ran away yesterday."

"Seriously?"

She nodded, afraid if she spoke, the whole mess would come out. She looked down at the espresso machine, until her emotions felt a little more in her grasp. "I couldn't find him for six hours." She was distantly aware of Josh's silent presence beside her, but finally being in a conversation with someone remotely sympathetic was overriding all of Callie's meager professionalism.

"And your foster parents let him out of the house this morning?"

She laughed - she couldn't help it. "Are you kidding? They didn't even care he was gone." Stef's eyes flashed, and for a moment, she looked positively livid. Was that on Callie's behalf? It was hard to tell. "I can't ground him, so this seemed like the best punishment. Well, until Ms. Lena showed up. Now he'll think the whole morning was some kind of reward."

"Oh, no he won't. You leave it to me, my friend, I will make sure he never even thinks about running away again." This time, when she grasped her hand, Callie didn't pull away. Leaning forward, Stef lowered her voice. "You're a good sister, Callie. Don't you forget that."

"Thank you," she mouthed, throat too full for words. Stef gave her just the sort of bracing smile she had longed for the night before. Callie wanted to close her eyes to commit it to memory, for the next time things felt out of her control. Instead, she had to make more drinks, and figure out exactly when Stef had started to think of her as 'sweets.'

XXX

A week later, Jude was gone.

Callie wasn't sure how she had once again managed to be blindsided. One evening, she simply came home from work to find Bill in their living room. Selfishly, she wished he had taken Jude immediately, instead of waiting for her to say goodbye. Jude had packed all the Fudge books, except for _Double Fudge_, which he left for her. When she discovered this hours after the fact, she held it to her chest and shook with silent tears, wishing she could have given him something in return, to let him know she was thinking of him, to let him know that she would make this right.

But her birthday was days away, so maybe Jude sensed that she would need this tangible assurance more than him. He was dry-eyed and expressionless as he left with Bill, while Callie clutched the banister to keep from running after them. "You're doing well here," Bill said to her at one point, as though he were doing her a favor. "He won't be far away, and maybe this separation will be good for the both of you." She wasn't sure how that was possible, but what could she do to stop him? Behind them, Hannah was serving dinner, and offering to set a place for Bill.

What had she said to Jude earlier that morning? Neither of them were at their best before school, often short-tempered and snapping at one another. Had Callie crossed a line, tipping Jude over the edge and into taking one of Liam's golf clubs, something he would normally have no remote interest in? Or had he gotten caught on purpose? She didn't know, but of course, the moment Liam had found it missing, he had run to his parents.

Jude's inventory of stolen goods had long outgrown his backpack, and he had moved onto using one of his dresser drawers. Hannah later showed Callie the collection of recovered items, from random pieces of clothing, to canned goods, and even several library books that Jude would never have read on his own. One of their mother's necklaces was there, half hidden inside a box of crackers. Callie had been missing that for months, assuming it had gotten lost at school.

Her anger bounced between Liam for ratting Jude out to Jude himself, which had possibly been Hannah's plan all along. "You're a good girl, Callie. We don't want you going anywhere. But Jude…we all know he needs healthier outlets and more supervision."

This was the most acknowledgement of her lack of parenting that Hannah had - and probably would ever - display, and Callie felt sick that she was agreeing with Hannah, even if it was just in her own head. Beneath the fear and anger, there was a large bubble of relief. Jude was no longer going to keep her up worrying at night. For the first time in four years, he was truly someone else's responsibility.

But he wasn't, not really. He was her baby brother, something physical separation would never change. He was her baby brother, and Callie didn't know where he was being taken, and if it was safe. Would he be happier? Probably not. What would his punishments be for breaking rules, rules that they might not even tell him existed until he broke them? Would he have friends? Jude had a hard time making friends. He would certainly have to transfer schools. Would his new teachers help him with math? Could he get held back a grade? _Should _he be?

There were so many questions, and no one had any answers. Bill promised he would arrange a visit as soon as possible. She was going to have to attend special visits to see her brother, like they had done something wrong. It wasn't fair!

Still, she slept better than she had in weeks. There was one thing Jude had that she knew he wouldn't let anyone see, and that was, once again, her phone. She had slipped it to him during their final embrace. Her charger was upstairs, but those were easy to come by. Alternatively, he could conserve the battery, only using it during emergencies. They might be physically separated, but Callie still had a way to reach him.

By the time she went upstairs to bed, Jude's room was nearly bare. Sheets had been stripped, drawers cleaned out, carpet freshly vacuumed. You wouldn't have known a ten year old boy had slept here for nearly a year, save for the Judy Blume book in the center of the desk, and the dinosaur poster tacked to the wall.

"I thought that might have belonged to you," Hannah remarked, walking in on Callie holding _Double Fudge_ like a lifeline. She didn't know what would happen if she opened her mouth, whether she would scream, or thank Hannah for solving one of her problems. She did not want to do either, so she simply nodded, waiting until Hannah left before finally giving into the urge to cry.

Take me with you, she had nearly begged earlier, Liam's hand on her back the only thing keeping her silent. She wasn't choosing Liam over Jude, she told herself. She was just so, so tired. Of thinking two steps ahead, of trying to anticipate Jude's mood on top of everyone else in the house. Jude's problem had long ago grown too big for either of them to control, and it was time to accept that.

After a painstaking search through the inventory of recovered items, she determined that Stef's business card was gone for good. Callie had initially discovered it missing the afternoon after Jude's return, when she also learned Jude had stolen $20 from her wallet.

"What did you think you were going to get with that?" she asked him, when he awkwardly returned the change. Well, he had paid for his cookies the day before, at least. They weren't exactly on speaking terms, but whatever Stef and Lena had said to him had definitely helped.

"I didn't want to take all your money, and it was the biggest bill you had. I had some of my own, and that was nearly fifty bucks."

"That's not even enough for a hotel room."

"Right, like I could have gotten one of those," he scoffed, his resemblance to Liam terrifyingly accurate, right down to the way he spun away from her.

"Wait, do you have my card?" He had ignored her completely, and there had never been a better time to ask. Tonight had been the first time he had looked at her with anything but disdain or frustration in days. At the time, Stef had been the last thing on her mind.

Still, that card had been her safety net. Along with all of Stef's contact information, it had the non-emergency number to the police department, which Callie might have actually called when Jude had run away, if she could have worked up the courage. She still had Stef's email, of course, but now more than ever, that seemed like a stupid thing to have. Seeing not one, but two of their kids illustrated to Callie exactly how busy Stef was. Who knew how many more she and Lena had at home? It was better just to exchange stupid quips over coffee. Anyway, without Jude to constantly worry about, why would she need any of it?

Callie's fifteenth birthday was days away. This was her fifth in foster care, and could very likely be her worst. Last year, Jude had somehow talked Liam into taking him to get her favorite ice cream. She and Liam had just started hanging out, so the whole day felt new and exciting. Now, even though she still saw Liam every day, it wasn't the same. Moreover, she and Jude had never spent a holiday apart. At least this was her birthday, and not his. She would have _never_ forgiven Bill, or Liam, for that matter, if they had been separated around that day.

The day dawned quietly enough. It was a Friday, and a rare school day where she was working beforehand, which was good. Otherwise, she would have been happy hiding in bed until the last possible second. Holidays were the time she missed her mom especially hard. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep Jude safe," she whispered aloud to her in the quiet of the house, looking at herself in the mirror. "I know I'm probably not doing what you'd like, but I wish you were here to yell at me anyway."

Sniffing, she reapplied her mascara, hoping the action would pull her together. Unsurprisingly, it didn't, and she walked out the door a few moments later, eyes red-rimmed and makeup free. As usual, no one knew she left.

When she got to work, Mary Anne ambushed her with a cupcake. "Happy birthday to my baby barista!" Callie jumped, laughing. Mary Anne lit a bedraggled looking candle, and she, Taylor, and Logan sang a wonderfully off key version of happy birthday. Callie started laughing halfway through, and could barely catch her breath long enough to blow out the candle.

Prep work had never gone so fast, they were all so high on sugar and caffeine. "Why don't we serve these?" Callie asked, halfway through her second cupcake.

"Because they're Logan's secret recipe that he won't share, even with me."

"True story. If you want to live, you can never know what's in my cupcakes."

Callie reappraised the frosting. "Do I want to know? It's not like, kale or something, right?"

"No! It's definitely nothing like that."

Four of them really didn't need to be working, but it was nice to have multiple people opening. Callie was too pleasantly surprised that any one of them had remembered the day to even begin to worry about conversing with both her bosses. Taylor wasn't scheduled to work until that afternoon, but she had showed up anyway. A month ago, Callie wouldn't have believed her capable of doing something so thoughtful.

Stef came in late during the morning rush. Callie hoped she would stay long enough to talk, but she disappeared in a hurry. Half an hour later, when she was already going to be at least ten minutes late for school, Taylor slipped her a piece of paper. "This was left for you from your cop friend."

"Oh god, no, what did you do? You're not even supposed to be here!"

Her smile was positively gleeful. "Never say I don't have your back." That comment seemed to take them both by surprise, and they shared an uncomfortable laugh. Callie eagerly unfolded the paper, which read:

_A little birdie says it's your birthday! Happy birthday to my favorite barista. Buy yourself a latte, that's the closest you'll ever get to buying one for me!_

_:) Stef_

Callie rarely paid attention to cards, but this, as well as the note from the other week accepting her apology, were something she would want to keep for a long time. "You've really gotta watch your reputation there, Tay. People are going to start thinking you're nice."

Taylor tossed her hair. "It's a fluke. Specialists are looking into it." Whatever it was, Callie liked this having a friend business, even if it never extended beyond work. No matter what else happened today, she felt her birthday had been far better than she could have hoped. Once again, Taylor and Mary Anne had effectively salvaged everything for the second time in two weeks. On one hand, Callie hated the sense of owing people. On the other, it was nice to have someone at her back, even if it just meant minimal birthday cards and secret cupcakes.

"All right, missy, I don't want to see you for at least 24 hours," Mary Anne admonished from her spot behind the counter. "Go, do teenager things."

"Ooh, me too?"

"Don't push your luck. You came in on your own time and you'd better be here right at three, Tay."

"Aye aye, boss lady. C'mon, CJ. I'm going to break the speed limit to get us to homeroom on time."

In the five months they had worked together, Taylor had never once offered her a ride to school. Clamping down on her shock - this girl was just full of surprises - Callie followed her out to her jetta, the same car she and Jude had been driven home in weeks before. This was a much lighter car trip, Taylor indeed breaking the speed limit halfway to school.

Callie's third surprise of the day was not receiving another late slip, and she spent half of third period wondering what she could do for Taylor in return when her birthday came around, and the other half marveling at the fact that she willingly wanted to return the kindness.

She tried calling Jude at lunch, and felt a strange combination of pride and disappointment when the phone went straight to his newly recorded voicemail. They had talked in several short bursts since he had been taken. The separation meant that their fight was over, for the time being, although this didn't mean there wasn't a certain tension under the surface. Jude said that his new foster mom (she actually said I could call her mom, if I wanted!) had the same charger as Callie, and that he used it when she wasn't looking. He also said that people were jealous of him for having a phone when he had dropped it his first day on the bus.

If Callie had known that an outdated electronic would get him leverage, she would have broken that rule a lot sooner. She told Jude not to go crazy with the minutes, and she'd keep paying the bill until something more permanent could be worked out. If Hannah or Phil ever called, Jude knew that he needed to let her know right away, although they both knew the likelihood of that happening. So, while she knew her brother brought the phone to school, she was pleased he didn't appear to be abusing the privilege.

With nothing else to do, she wandered into the library, where she discovered a meticulously typed email from Jude - since when did ten year olds have email? _Happy birthday, sis! I miss you more than jelly beans_! Considering Jude hated jellybeans, she wasn't sure how much stock to give this declaration.

She left school genuinely smiling for the first time in weeks, which only increased when Liam's car was there to greet her. He had remembered after all! While Jude had been asking her what she wanted for her birthday all month, Liam had remained aloof on the matter. She had dropped several hints, but if he'd realized what she was referring to, he never said. Still, he was here now, waving and playing his music too loud. If Jude were to pop out of the backseat, her day would be nearly perfect.

He didn't, but Liam squeezed her fingers the moment she got in the passenger seat. "There you are! Happy birthday, babe."

Not bitching about high school traffic, and an endearment in the same sentence? That was…unexpected, but she smiled easily. "Thanks, Lee. You remembered!"

"Of course, you and Rugrat only talked about it all month. C'mon, let's go dutch on food. It's the best I can do right now, sorry."

It wasn't much, but it was something, so she bit back the sarcastic retort begging to burst out of her mouth and kept smiling.

They decided on a snack instead, going to a diner for fries and milkshakes, which Liam could afford without Callie's help. She thought about telling him about hearing from Jude, but something held her back. She had never been exactly angry with Liam for betraying her confidence, and causing Jude to be taken, but she didn't feel neutral, either. Jude might have been out of control, but Liam had known how important this secret had been to her. The fact he had broken her trust with no regard to how she might feel stung, and she wasn't ready to consider what that might mean for their relationship. In the week since Jude had left, their opportunities for being alone were even more expansive, but she had taken advantage of very few. Liam had been out most nights, which helped, but Callie sensed he was growing frustrated with her avoidance. If it wasn't her birthday, and also if she were more courageous, this would be the perfect place to talk about the state of things.

But it was, and she wasn't all that brave. Saying it out loud would mean they really did have a problem, and it was so, so much easier to let things continued to be undefined, no matter how confusing. They were both trying today, and she told herself that this, right here, was enough. Liam was so, so nice when he wanted to be. Now that Jude wasn't around, they could be like this all the time, if Callie would get over her stupid hangups. Liam always made her feel so young and inexperienced, and she was sick of it.

"Ah ah ah, no looking sad on your birthday,' he admonished, flicking a fry at her. "The next one will be covered in ketchup."

She didn't doubt the threat, and forced herself to put her thoughts aside. Once she relaxed and stopped thinking, they had a good time. Liam only talked about his paying as a favor a few times, and they left the diner holding hands, a rare luxury Liam didn't care for, and that she never got to indulge in as a result.

They came home to an empty house, as per usual. "Mom's probably getting your cake."

She smirked. "Yeah, and Phil's hiring me a clown, right? We both know your parents won't remember what today is."

"Come on, we celebrated for the rugrat."

In reality, Hannah was extremely organized. She would no doubt remember the date, and certainly wish Callie happy birthday, but beyond that, there wouldn't be much fanfare. Liam's own birthdays were rarely acknowledged, aside from a cake and his favorite meal sometime during the week. Phil and Hannah lived by the philosophy that once you reached a certain age, your birthday was just another date on the calendar.

Surprisingly, they had been perfectly willing to celebrate for Jude, Hannah going so far as to purchase a cake and inquiring about his favorite foods. Despite how things had ended, Callie saw, in how they very occasionally treated Jude, why they had wanted to foster. Phil and Hannah both seemed to appreciate the idea of children at a very basic level. Callie wished Jude hadn't so obviously craved more, since this really was a great placement. Had she truly gotten so spoiled by Liam's affections, that she have somehow neglected Jude in return? She didn't think so, but thoughts like that continuously nagged at her, now that she didn't have the luxury of seeing him whenever she liked.

Despite what she said to Liam, Callie wasn't concerned about his parents doing anything for her. Today had been better than she ever could have hoped, making her appreciate the few people she had in her corner. It was a lot more than she could have counted as friends weeks ago, and even as she felt bad for having more than Jude, she couldn't help reveling in people who liked her with out obligation or monetary gain.

"Thanks for a great afternoon, Lee." She stretched up to kiss him, leaning them back into the kitchen counter and tangling her tongue with his. He smelled like salt and tasted of chocolate, and she reveled in enjoying his kiss, something that was sadly becoming rarer by the day.

"Trust me, the fun's just getting started," he murmured into her mouth, a warm hand around her shoulder.

Author's notes: As usual, huge thanks to Tunedtochords and Starophie for correcting my mistakes, and telling me when I've gone overboard.


End file.
